Why White Lines is one of the worst series in a long time
So it was Monday night and after Unorthodox there was a gaping hole in the Netflix wallet because what was I supposed to watch that was even good. Waiting for Undercover took too long for me so I thought: a bit of distraction and fun in Ibiza. A sniff to the left, a DJ to the right, that should be entertaining enough on a Monday night.
Well, entertaining it was. It started with the opening scene. We see a young woman, Zoe, standing at the crime scene where the body of a man has been found. Everything is cordoned off, the body is covered with a white sheet, but of course just at the moment Zoe is nearby, the sheet is pulled off the body. ‘Sorry for that,’ says the detective. It is the first of many open doors that follow.
Later we see a gathering of some movers and shakers in the nightlife world and the apparent capo di tutti capi of the island, who says they are not allowed to sell drugs for two weeks. This way, he has a good chance of getting approval from the local authorities to open a number of casinos. A project he undertakes with his mother, who by the way kissed him quite intimately and just a bit too long on the mouth. Something that undoubtedly has a reason, but I won’t hear about it anymore because I stopped watching, but okay.
Of course, pressing the pause button on the drug supply meets with resistance. Because with the sale of a Breezer-pineapple you can't pay for that villa in Ibiza, you get it, I get it. But what must be done, must be done, so the inflatable bananas that are usually towed behind a speedboat and filled with cocaine in Ibiza need to be stored. Because no one wants such a banana in their garden, it is tossed back and forth as if it were a burning stick. The banana is thrown over the fence of a DJ and of course, it gets caught on one of the bars and the white powder seeps out. Naturally, the gaffer tape doesn’t stick well and the DJ drags a white line across his lawn as if it were the marking of the ArenA (I think you would check if this precious cargo stays intact…) and that’s not all. Suddenly someone is at the door (Zoe), causing him to completely forget about that coke and of course, his little dogs are running loose in the garden, happily munching on the powdered sugar.
How it all ends for Zoe, the DJ, and the body I will never know, because the scene where the DJ's ex-wife experiences an erotic orgy (I know: pleonasm of the highest order but she emphasized the erotic aspect so much that the word orgy alone is not enough) while her daughters also have to stay with her was the cue for me to turn off the TV.
I do hope someone can tell me that the little dogs are all okay.
