I watched ‘Are You The One? The Perfect Match’ and this is what I thought

Confession: I had never watched Are You The One before. I know, this might come as a shock, and rightly so. I devour all seasons of Temptation, binge-watch MAFS Australia without a care, and the more outrageous something is, the better. Maybe I was just too busy with all those guilty pleasures that this one slipped through, but I'm sold. I heard so many stories about this season that I got serious FOMO, so I started watching last Sunday and I have a lot of thoughts about it.

1. Look, this is already a nice start. Arguments. Immediately shouting ‘get that camera away’ as if you didn't voluntarily sign up for a reality show.

2. ‘My connections are the strongest with her.’ The strongest? Maybe that's why I'm still single, I never hit those connections particularly hard.

3. The word of reality shows that supposedly revolve around love: connection. Connections are being made everywhere. Just like in ‘Are You The One? The Perfect Match’.

4. Excuse me? Can someone explain to me why everyone is sleeping in the same bed? This can't possibly end well, can it? This is already my new favorite show, I think.

5. ‘Do you want space?’ seems very difficult when everyone is sleeping together in one big bed.

6. It's episode number five, but I still need to get to know all the contestants. So that's why this question: who is that guy who looks like he just walked out of Baywatch?

7. Ah, Jaap. Jaap is wearing very high white socks with very white Nikes and is only wearing swim trunks otherwise.

8. Shit, I clearly should have watched the previous episode too. What's so intense? They are being very intense. She is his everything. These are heavy texts. What. Has. Happened.

9. But aren't these exactly the same people who were arguing two minutes ago?

10. That people can genuinely say they can learn things in a show like this. And grow as a person. I can really be amazed by that.

11. ‘In bed, I also like it stiff and hard.’ Hard I get. But stiff? It seems really hellish to have sex when one of the two (or both) is stiff. Very painful too.

12. I am really completely fascinated by those piercings of Shanice in her... What do you call it? Sternum? Your almost-neck? That can't be comfortable, can it? Or imagine, you get caught on something. My goodness, that must hurt.

13. Low key, I am curious about who they would choose as a match for me and whether I would even notice it myself. Maybe I should join too, because choosing my own partners has not been very successful so far.

14. Sorry, forget the word ‘connection’. ‘Click’ and ‘match’ I have already heard about a thousand times and I'm not even halfway through the episode.

13. Kaj is still having some trouble pronouncing the word ‘truth booth’. I am too, by the way. Who even came up with this name, it's not normal to get it out of your mouth.

16. Wait. Ho. Stop. Pause. There's a girl participating named Dividivi. I need to process that.

17. #durftevragen: suppose you are a couple with someone, the lights go on and everything, but you don't like each other. Can you still win the game?

18. Because are these people seriously participating for love or for the love of Instagram followers? That's always a bit of a question.

19. HUH. Hello. I hate cliffhangers. Which couple is going to the truth booth? Tell. It. Meeeee.

20. Okay, clear: I have a new addiction. Does anyone want to brainstorm with me about the potential matches? Come on.

21. But first I'm going to mentally prepare for tonight at 7:00 PM, because then the next episode will be on MTV again. Let's gooo.