7 x how to get over your break-up during corona
Breaking up is painful enough, unless you were already quite fed up with it for a long time, of course. But let's not assume that in this case. You are heartbroken and as if that wasn't bad enough, you also find yourself in a pandemic. Perhaps the pandemic has even contributed to it, which I can very well imagine. Psychologist and psychotherapist Francesca Moresi says about this: ‘The fact that more people are breaking up or considering it lately is because we are forced to spend more time together. Then problems arise that we didn't see before. Where you used to have a more separate life before the pandemic, there is now nothing left of that. You share everything with each other, whether you like it or not.’ Well, a break-up plus a pandemic, how much worse can it get? This seems to me the absolute nightmare. Sorry, I'm not trying to rub it in for those who are newly single. On the contrary, I'm going to give tips on how to get through this. Don't worry, I didn't pull these tips out of thin air; they come from Francesca Moresi, a well-known British psychologist. Here are seven tips to make the break-up more bearable.
1. Don't be too hard on yourself
Francesca's advice: take the time to grieve. Give yourself as much time as needed and don't be too hard on yourself in this. And especially keep doing the things that normally bring you joy, even if you don't feel like it. You don't feel like doing anything. So go ahead and take that warm bath, go for a walk, take that sports class, and binge-watch every series on Netflix. According to Francesca, it's important to keep taking good care of yourself. So eat healthily, drink enough, and be careful not to isolate yourself. For example, set reminders on your phone to call a friend or make yourself a cup of tea.
2. Clean up
Francesca: ‘It can really help to clean up your house significantly after ending a relationship. Throw out everything you associate with your ex.’ An important point is that you can do this not only at home but also online. Unfollow and block your ex, not out of childish reasons, but because you don't want to be confronted with him/her all the time. Also, delete photos or messages of you together that make you sad or move them to a folder on your laptop. This all sounds very resolute, but it will really help.
3. Don't forget what's important
Of course, you'd prefer to never leave your hole again, and that's more than understandable, but don't forget that there may also be some practical matters that need to be sorted out. For example, a joint account, the rent of your house, belongings, debts, and so on. It's difficult, but it's necessary to set your feelings aside for a moment.
4. Write it out
Writing it out can often be a huge relief. By writing down what you feel, you become more aware of those feelings, and that makes it easier to let them go. You don't have to write a whole book; just start simple: write down what made you happy today. What are you grateful for? What went well? Writing down positive thoughts has a positive effect on your mood.
5. Try ‘healing rituals’
For some people, this might sound a bit too airy-fairy, but if you're really struggling, it's worth a try. Francesca gives the example: ‘Write a letter to your ex and write down everything you still wanted to say to him or her. Read it out loud and then burn the letter.’ This does sound a bit dramatic, but it seems delightful to do.
6. Ask for help
Asking for help is something we prefer not to do, but it's something that is very important. Call your friends or family, go for a walk with them, and vent your heart. Walking has a positive effect on your mood anyway, so you're hitting two birds with one stone. Francesca advises: ‘Professional help can also contribute to getting over the relationship. Are you struggling to let go or want clarity about patterns in your relationships? Then make a non-binding appointment with a therapist.’ Many people consider going to therapy a taboo, but I personally think it can only make you a smarter person. So definitely do it.
7. Make plans
Okay, this is of course not so easy during a pandemic. There is little possible, and it is still questionable whether your plans can go ahead. But planning ahead can, according to Francesca, actually work reassuringly during a pandemic. This way, you have something to look forward to. You do need to make sure that the plans are achievable, of course. For example, cooking extensively with a friend, taking a walk on the beach, or going away for a night in nature. In any case, plan something fun every week to look forward to.
Source: Women’s Health
