How to deal with manterrupting

If you wait until you get the floor, you can wait a long time. A lesson I firmly took to heart. Now, I'm not really one to hold back, but I too get interrupted by men from time to time. It's called manterrupting. Did you know that scientific research shows that men interrupt women three times more often than men?

It started with Mark Rutte, as he also turned out to interrupt women more often than men. Something I had to be made aware of myself, as it wasn't something that immediately stood out to me. This is because I'm used to it happening, what am I saying? We have all become accustomed to men doing this. They often do it unconsciously, even the most woman-friendly men do it. This morning, I listened to a podcast featuring a man and two women. At a certain point in the conversation, the man wants to interrupt, but his female sidekick doesn't give him any space and continues talking. It stuck with me because it happens so rarely. I finally heard something different. It was extra enjoyable that the podcast was about women needing to be financially independent.

Asking if I could finish my story doesn't suit me very well. It immediately feels like I'm seeking confrontation, while I'm not really in the mood for confrontations. Recently, I've also been applying a new tactic: just keep talking, don't let yourself be interrupted. Although this sometimes lands me in the bizarre situation of two people who keep doing this, which isn't very constructive either. So what to do? I read a handy tip from coach Ester de Bruine in the NRC.

Choose your position at the meeting table carefully. In a place where you are clearly visible, you will be heard more quickly. Also, don't be too cautious in your wording. I find this interesting; for example, Tony Tobbins also uses the power of taboo words. The more intense you are in your language, the better people remember you and your story. I'm not advocating for cursing at the director, but the stronger you formulate, the greater the chance that he or she will remember it. And above all: be difficult and especially not too modest. De Bruine calls this a power field analysis, and it's definitely something to think about before entering a conversation. A good reminder for myself too; I can definitely seek that confrontation. So be it. It ensures that women are also heard, and that is ultimately much more important.