I have to talk about Denise Richards for a moment.
Bond girl, ex of Charlie Sheen, actress in The Bold and the Beautiful and, and this is where I come peeking around the corner, one of the housewives of Beverly Hills.
Denise comes across as an all American girl. House in Malibu by the beach, feet in the sand, usually dressed in jeans and a T-shirt (or flannel shirt), hair in a bun and apparently without a ten-ride card at the botox dealer. Two children from her marriage to Charlie Sheen and a girl with a disability that she adopted when she was single. So far, so good.
The creators of the series will regularly have climbed on their chairs with joy while watching the material, because Denise is not exactly the type to hold back. For example, we know that daily morning sessions take place (beloved Aaron is a healthy American boy with similar traits) and that Denise doesn't have to worry if she loses her ruler, because when Aaron is around, she has a sturdy measuring instrument of about the same length. Anyway.
She also sprinkles juicy anecdotes about Charlie Sheen's prostitutes whom she simply invited for Thanksgiving dinner and about massages with happy endings. Laughing, joking, and roaring with Denise, in short.
But then it comes. During a barbecue in the garden of Denise and her beloved Aaron, the conversation among the housewives also turns to sex, as often happens when you put a group of women together. Or men. Whether there has ever been an intimate moment with another woman. Erika Jayne shares that she had an affair with a couple, to which someone asks: ‘What's the difference?’ And she – hilariously, in my opinion – replies: ‘A penis and two vaginas.’
Meanwhile, Denise constantly walks apologetically to the teenage table that is about two meters away from theirs. ‘There’s some adult conversation going on, can you hear it?’ The kids (around 15) laugh it off, and a few days later, Denise has lunch with her daughter and they discuss the evening. Her daughter says she heard they were talking about threesomes, but they found it very entertaining and not a big deal at all.
Long story a little shorter: Denise blows it up and doesn't even bring her kids to an intensely tame barbecue party that Kyle is organizing. Kyle is somewhat of a primal mother who has set up a castle in the air and a large tent where the kids can play, but Denise prefers not to expose her children to the presence of her television friends and makes that loud and clear. Noise in the teepee, you understand. Because it is a bit hypocritical, of course, and if anyone was not participating in that whole conversation, it was Kyle. Anyway.
But what turns out? That Denise is having an affair with Brandy Glanville at that moment, the woman who participated in The Real Housewives for several seasons. And when confronted with it, she is so scared that she shouts ‘Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!’ very loudly. Bravo is the TV network that produces The Real Housewives and cannot advertise for itself, so if you shout ‘Bravo!’, they cannot use that scene. But fortunately, they apparently took that penalty and are airing it all anyway.
Meanwhile, I am relishing everyone's quacking and wondering if there is anyone who can tell Denise that children can also watch episodes and read online. So if you want to keep something private, you better keep your mouth shut. But yes, that would make for very boring TV.
Of course, I also googled whether Denise is still with her husband Aaron after the revelation of this affair, but everything is still peachy and hunky-dory. I told you: Aaron is a healthy American boy, he easily enjoys Brandy as well.
