I watched Jaimie Vaes: In The Vaes Lane episode 4 and this is what I thought

Yeah, I was ready for it again. Yesterday afternoon, right at 5:00 PM: let's see what Jaimie Vaes has been up to this week. Or well, quite a few weeks ago — this is the episode in which madame traveled to Dubai with Lil Kleine and son Lío (and Lil Kleine who laughed at us during the lockdown, thanks for that). That can only mean one thing: no Koen Kardashian in this episode. And then of course the question immediately comes to mind… What is he supposed to do in his week? I always read the comments on Facebook under the pieces and I really crack up at the fact that no one actually knows what this man does. It’s the great Enigma of the Moment for me: what does Koen Kardashian do? Love it.

But hey, was In The Vaes Lane a bit bearable without Koen? Let’s gooohooo.

1. “We’ve wanted a nice vacation home in another place for a long time.” And yes, maybe Dubai is it? Some people are already happy with a caravan at the Bakkum campsite, but not if you’re Lil Kleine, no… Then a penthouse in Dubai is acceptable.

2. Honestly, I’m quite jealous of riding those camels. I find them such hilarious animals.

3. And then Jaimie casually mentions that the nanny is also going along for Lío?

4. I don’t know, Jaimie, but I’ve just been on the edge of my seat for two episodes wondering which nanny you’re going to choose, so make it a bigger moment. I was totally invested in this storyline.

5. Okay, the nanny is called Rona and doesn’t speak Dutch. Doesn’t really matter, but seems a bit awkward for Lío since his vocabulary is non-existent and he just barely understands some Dutch words.

6. No stress, no stress: Koen is also back in this episode. For the occasion, a camera crew went to his house so they can capture him facetiming with Jaimie. That’s important too.

7. Even less stress, because Koen obviously can’t do without Jaimie and is immediately doubting whether to go to Dubai for four days.

8. You know, just a quick trip to Dubai for four days at a time when Rutte urged us not to make unnecessary trips.

9. Buuut Koen has to be back by January 2nd, because then he’s going to rehab.

10. I think Koen Kardashian is the only one who really makes an outing of it. January 2nd: rehab time, woohooo, first just a bit of fun in Dubai, wooohoo, livin’ my best life.

11. Anyway, the ‘woohoo’ factor is quite high. “Let’s go house hunting, WOOHOO.”

12. I must honestly say that seeing them consider a mega penthouse as an extra vacation home is extra confronting for me, since I live in a postage stamp-sized place in Amsterdam. There must be a difference, I think.

13. HAHA. “So this is another living room, also a small one.” So many questions about this sentence from the realtor. Another? Small?

14. Just to be clear: this penthouse is eight hundred square meters. The realtor has no idea what a small living room is anymore. He should come visit me, he’d immediately have a claustrophobic attack.

15. “Six million euros for a house is not doable if you have to redecorate everything,” thinks Jaimie.

16. In other words: six million euros is a priiiiima price if you can just move in and everything is to your taste.

17. *cries over the current housing market in the Netherlands where nothing is possible on your own*

18. But honestly, I still want to be part of Jaimie’s click. Just send a little car to the airport including a bottle of wine to pick up her friends. I can live with that.

19. Estelle: “I’ve been to Dubai between 20 and 25 times.”

20. It’s not a competition, Estelle. Quit your humble brag. I managed to put on makeup twice this week, but you won’t hear me bragging about that.

21. “Maybe I’ll meet an amazing guy there.”

22. Mark my words: Koen is going to organize singles trips to rehab clinics.

23. Dare to ask: how do they handle the bill there? I think they really spend loads of money during these dinners. Does one person take the bill and then send out tikkies?

24. “Here’s a tikkie of 400 euros for Tuesday night’s dinner.”

25. Yeah Jaimie, I really want to be part of these dinners, but I fear my budget doesn’t quite allow it. Do you accept payments in installments?

Next week: Jaimie has a hangover, but because it’s Jaimie she doesn’t look like a wild sloth like me, but is still ready to be photographed. In fact, she manages to go wedding dress shopping and look at rings. Meanwhile, I’m already proud if I’ve showered with a hangover. Can we expect Koen again next week? Nooo, he’ll be in his five-star reso… rehab clinic. Not a luxury vacation. But whether he realizes that himself is still questionable.