Never divide household chores: it is detrimental to your relationship

You always unload the dishwasher, he makes sure the trash is taken out. You do the laundry, he scrubs the bathroom floor. Dividing tasks at home has never been so unsexy.

Don't divide the tasks at home if you ever want to get intimate with your partner.

Forget
Because it's detrimental to your relationship to divide those petty chores. According to psychologists, it really doesn't work: you'll end up having arguments about it. Because the dishwasher? That's a lot less ‘bad’ to do than hauling a full, stinky garbage bag outside. Whatever the division of tasks is, you'll naturally end up having issues about it. Because either you forget it, or he does. And then it's back to nagging each other.

Power play
Household chores have been a topic of interest for researchers and writers for years. Why is it often such a point of contention among couples? Why do women always feel like they do more? Divide the household chores fairly between man and woman, otherwise the latter will end up doing more, says American writer Eve Rodsky. If you don't clearly divide it with your partner, you might find yourself in situations where the man of the house goes to exercise while you're still tidying up all the kids‘ mess and cleaning. ’Men have twice as much free time as women, research shows. They just claim it: I'm going golfing, bye! Women are expected to take care of things at home.' That's not what you want either.

The convenience of a man often lies in the remark: ‘Yeah, but I earn the most money, so I should also get the most time to work or relax.‘ That's not how it works anymore in 2021. ’It's about seeing the time of men and women as equally valuable.‘ Because if you're always busy with the kids/the dog/the house, you also have less time left to develop yourself or turn your hobbies into something profitable. ’In fact, it's a power play that hinders change,‘ says Rodsky. Because the overload of women at home comes at the expense of their career opportunities. ’If we continue to see time as money, then in a hundred years we'll still have the same problem. And quarreling couples. Time is time. Men and women both have only 24 hours in a day.’

Making tasks
So what's the best trick to have a clean house and maintain a nice relationship? Write down all the tasks that need to be done and divide the cards. Not everything has to be done all the time, but sometimes that kitchen just has to be scrubbed. Then that card goes on the ‘to do’ pile. You'll divide that pile together once a week. Nice on Sunday morning, for example. Choose and execute. And that also includes planning and thinking ahead: do you have cleaning supplies for that kitchen drain? Otherwise, you'll need to go get that too. The whole card is for you or your partner.

And the best tip from the experts? Find a hobby. Just like your man. Then you can do something with that time that you're going to take for yourself more than ever. ‘Sorry babe, I'm off to play tennis/yoga/running, bye!’ Just do it. The dishes can wait until tomorrow – or not.

Source: de Volkskrant