Real life: “I lie about being vaccinated”

Maaike told her friends and family that she is fully vaccinated, but that is not true, and she does not plan to do so either. What started as a little white lie to avoid discussion is now becoming a bigger problem.

‘When we started vaccinating in the Netherlands, I immediately knew: I don’t want this and I absolutely will not do it. It’s really not that I’m an anti-vaxxer and that I don’t ‘believe’ in corona, but I just don’t want to get vaccinated. That’s because I want to wait and see what the vaccine really does to you, and I actually think I don’t have to justify myself for wanting or not wanting something: it’s your own choice to do it or not.

I quickly noticed that my surroundings thought differently about it. They all got vaccinated and were actually very happy that it was possible. I let them talk at first and didn’t engage. I don’t judge them for wanting it, so shouldn’t they do the same? But soon I was glad I kept my mouth shut, because my friends criticized the people around them who, like me, didn’t want a vaccination.

I honestly told my parents at first that I didn’t want it, but that went down pretty badly with them, especially since my father belongs to the risk group with his heart condition. I had endless discussions with them and eventually I just accepted it: they’re not going to understand me anyway.

So then I just said that I got vaccinated. To get it over with. I honestly thought it would be fine, but now that it seems we might have to show our vaccination proof at restaurants or events, this is of course going to come out for me, because I still firmly believe that I really do not want to get vaccinated.

When I went on vacation with a few friends this summer, I could still get away with having only had my first shot and therefore still had to do a PCR test. I absolutely do not feel proud of the fact that I lie about it, but I just don’t feel like having those discussions and judgments from others.

But yes, I do want to go to restaurants and, when it’s possible again, to festivals. Continuously testing is also quite a hassle and I find it a bit ridiculous. And to be honest: what does it matter to society that I haven’t taken a vaccine? The majority does, and they should know that. But why can’t I go into the pub without a test result or a vaccination?

I do see the ads with texts like ‘only together can we get corona under control’ and I understand that, but I have really adhered to the measures so far. And if the rest just gets vaccinated, I really don’t see the problem why I should do that too.

My plan for now is to avoid the topic of conversation as much as possible, although that is often still quite difficult. I actually think it will be fine again: if in a few months everything is back to normal, they really won’t pay attention to who is vaccinated or not. And then I am still very glad that I didn’t do it.’

In this unusual time, we asked people for their honest story. To avoid hurting others, Maaike's name has been changed.