Science says: the second in the family is the most difficult

Do you have an older brother or sister? Then you are probably incredibly – yes, sorry – annoying, mischievous, and rebellious. Because the second in the family is said to be the most difficult, psychologists claim.

Criminal path
Sibling science is more popular than ever. What influence do your brothers and sisters have on who you are? It has long been known that the position in the family says something about your personality. The oldest is often the smartest, the most serious, and the most successful. He is also often a perfectionist, feeling enormous pressure to perform. The second, on the other hand, is someone who pushes boundaries. How do we know this for sure now? Researchers studied fifteen thousand siblings in Europe and the United States. The researchers see that the child who comes second in the family generally behaves worse than his older and possibly younger siblings. Research among boys in America and Denmark even showed that these second-borns had between 25 and 40 percent more chance of coming into contact with the police. They cry the most as babies and toddlers, and they misbehave the most as they grow older. It doesn't even matter if there are more children after child number two or not. Well.

Fighting for attention
Why do researchers think that number two is a bit of a brat? They feel the competition for their mother or father's attention from a young age: after all, they have an older brother or sister who is already ‘there first’. They have never had the full attention of both parents, and therefore they feel more struggle. They do their best to get that attention, and that usually happens in a negative way. And that's not without reason, because they are somewhat right. The middle children often receive less attention from parents compared to the youngest and the oldest. Because the youngest at home is again the ‘little one’ of mom and dad. They are pampered, even if they are over 30.

The second is less ‘special’. The first makes someone a father and mother, then the whole world shares in the joy. With a second, the novelty wears off. Every child is a miracle, but from birth, a second is treated differently than a first. The last one to complete the family is also special again. Harsh, but proven. Unconsciously, parents participate in this. With the firstborn, mothers and fathers make more time to read aloud and stack blocks, research shows. This is good for cognitive development, and yes, you can see that reflected later in their careers. With a second, that time is often not there. And that has lifelong consequences: annoying behavior.

Positive
Fortunately, there is also positive news for everyone who is the second in a family or already has two children and indeed notices that no. 2 loves mischief. A second is often faster independent, creative, and social; they often have many friends. Second children are also more often ‘peacemakers’, accommodating, gentle, good negotiators, and in many ways, they are the opposite of the oldest at home. Ah, everyone in the family has something.

Source: JM parents