What you think when you watch F1 for the first time

Ooh oh oh, what was it exciting yesterday, huh? The first Formula 1 race of the year, in Bahrain. Yeah man, the adrenaline was flowing through my veins. And then that ending. It was really close that Verstappen could have taken that first place. Okay, honestly: I didn't catch any of that excitement. For the first time in my life, I watched a full race (which lasted an hour and a half in this case) and I was actually mostly confused. But I also found it quite calming, looking at the same lap every time. And I feel like playing Mario Kart again. Or Street Racer. But these are all, I think, not ‘normal’ thoughts when you watch F1 as a true fan.

Because it turned out yesterday that I don't understand F1 at all, while I really thought there wouldn't be much to understand. I mean: a few guys keep driving the same lap and whoever is number one in the end wins — how hard can it be? Well, it turns out there's a whole etiquette behind it. By the way, I did miss the boosts like in Mario Kart and of course the turtle shells you can fire, but I was told that a kind of boost is indeed available in F1 for electric cars. But we don't like that. Yeah, I'm just saying ‘we’, because I just talked along with everyone yesterday due to my lack of knowledge.

A friend called me (he couldn't watch himself): ‘What's the score now?’ I was of course honored that he called me for this instead of a real F1 fan, and I guess he won't call me again since my answer was: ‘Hamilton is currently on Interval.’ The comment afterwards: ‘But number two is really very good too?’ didn't really sit well either.

But I did watch quite captivated for an hour and a half, and I actually found it quite calming too. Just looking at laps. Except during the pit stops, because how cool is that? And then that speed. Except for almost eleven seconds with Bottas, which did make me nervous. But I clearly need to delve more into it. That Verstappen lets a Hamilton pass and thereby gives up his first place, that's etiquette and is seen as sportsmanlike. But you could just as well not do it, although then you would be seen as unsportsmanlike... But you still won? It's just frowned upon or something?

And then with both tires over the lines (I don't know what they're called), that really isn't allowed. But if Hamilton honestly admits to doing that the whole race, there aren't exactly consequences. So I now understand that there are rules, but at the same time I don't understand why the rules ultimately don't really matter. Quite a tricky sport, that Formula 1 racing.

But I am intrigued. This was the first race and I think I'm becoming an avid F1 viewer. And until I really understand the sport, I've already looked up some fun facts about it.

• F1 drivers lose an average of four kilos per race
• The professionals have neck muscles that are impressive
• The fastest pit stop is credited to Verstappen at Red Bull: 1.82 seconds
• An engine cannot last longer than five races
• An average F1 car costs about seven million euros
• But one woman has been able to compete in the top: Lella Lombardi

And, if someone can give me an F1 for Dummies: please. I would like to impress my fellow viewers a bit more during the next race.