Science says: dear people live longer

Something that strikes me here in Mexico is the friendly people. One by one, they are so helpful and kind, without expecting anything in return. Yesterday, my brother and I were completely lost after our five-hour hike and ended up at a major highway. We had two options: go back into the jungle and figure out the right route again or stick out our thumb in the hope that someone could take us to the village. We chose the latter option, but felt gloomy about it. To our great surprise, the first pick-up truck with two Mexican men in it stopped, and we were allowed to jump in the back of the truck. We were then dropped off at our village and they turned around again, as they had to go the other way themselves. We were completely astonished by the kindness of these men. ‘You don't experience this kind of thing in the Netherlands,’ we noted afterwards. We Dutch could certainly use some of this Mexican mentality.

Maybe it would help if I tell you that we can live longer by being kind to others. Yes, this is really true: research shows that you live longer if you are kind to other people. Scientists shared these findings in 2018, in a meta-analysis in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Being kind can be done in many ways: for example, by doing groceries for someone else, offering a listening ear, or in this case, by giving someone a ride. All helpful actions that can extend your lifespan. Helping others and living longer: that sounds like a win-win, right? Although this is not quite the right mindset for me, because it is precisely about giving without expecting anything in return.

But how can this actually extend our lifespan? The first explanation from the research states that being kind to others can help give purpose to your life. This can contribute to your mental well-being, as we get a boost from helping others. I think we all recognize this, because have you ever felt bad after helping someone in need? Moreover, helping others, according to psychology expert and celebrity happiness coach Robert Mack, automatically shifts the focus away from yourself and onto other things in the world. This way, we come into more contact with others, and according to him, that makes us happier. And happy people, after all, live longer.

But are there also physical benefits to helping others, besides mental ones? According to this meta-analysis, that is certainly the case, as kindness acts as a natural anti-inflammatory and also boosts your immune system.. Dr. Vuu, a doctor who focuses on longevity, explains: ‘Emotions like anger, fear, hate, resentment, and worry drive up the stress hormone cortisol. Ultimately, that spike can lead to an increase in inflammation, which is not ideal if you want to live longer. Inflammation is associated with various degenerative diseases.’ Being kind and friendly to people will, according to this doctor, do the opposite.

Finally, the experts in this research make it very clear that there are two types of kindness, one of which is more successful for a longer lifespan than the other. You might guess it: the kindness that comes with an expectation of reciprocity, even if it's just a thank you, works just a little less well than the kindness where you expect nothing in return. So be kind without expecting anything back.