Why you should never go out to dinner on your first date

Going out to dinner on a first date has always seemed like a bad idea to me and especially very stressful. The thought that someone is going to watch you attentively at the table only makes you even more nervous, right? As if it isn't already enough pressure to keep the conversation going; you also have to pay attention to your manners while eating. Just give me a glass of wine in a cozy bar.

Still, a restaurant is a very popular place for a first date. I can still remember well that I had my first date with my beloved in an Italian restaurant. I didn't agree with it of course (I would have preferred to go somewhere for drinks), but he had already arranged it so I couldn't really get out of it. Well, I initially couldn't get a bite down and when I finally tried to scoop some spaghetti, the whole plate was wrapped around my fork in no time. ‘Are you managing?’ I got teased. Then all sorts of people (uninvited) came to the table to introduce themselves. I found it awful.

Fortunately, Denise Janmaat, dating coach and founder of the first Dutch dating site, completely agrees with me. According to her, going out to dinner on the first date is a no-go anyway. I quote: ‘Dining out is quite static and quickly becomes uncomfortable. If there is a silence, you immediately experience it as an awkward moment.’ This is exactly what it is.

But what should you do on the first date then? According to Janmaat, you better choose an activity like walking, mini-golfing, or pedal boating. In such a setting, it's much less of a big deal if it goes quiet for a moment. To be honest: I really don't want to think about pedal boating, but a beach walk does sound like a romantic idea. Have you and your date survived a few of these kinds of activities together? Then you can definitely go out to dinner. A little tip from Janmaat: choose something low-key like a grand café, there's often more buzz. Those fancy and stately star restaurants will come naturally once things get serious.

What research shows is the absolute best place for a first date? That is the amusement park. It seems that by going on all the thrilling rides, you produce hormones that give you an euphoric feeling. These are the same hormones you produce when you feel head over heels in love. That sounds promising.

So, trade that first date in the restaurant for a day at Efteling.