Hilarious: experiences about waking up from anesthesia
I find it terrifying to go under anesthesia. Really awful. Fortunately, I only had to do it once when I was about seven years old. Right on my eye, so that was medium, but I survived it. And: I didn't make any intensely crazy statements afterwards, because that happens sometimes. Well, those painkillers can do some weird things to you. But that also leads to some hilarious anecdotes. And of course, they were collected on Reddit (where else?), where the following question was asked: ‘Anesthesiologists of Reddit, what was something you won’t forget hearing from someone that was under?’ The answers are far from being from anesthesiologists but mostly from patients, but that doesn’t make them any less hilarious.
1. ‘My husband had to go under anesthesia for his wisdom teeth. He was quite scared and is the type who prepares well for everything, so he looked up all the side effects of anesthesia. One of those side effects was that he might experience ‘profound disorientation upon waking up’. When he woke up, he opened one eye, looked around the room, then said very grumpily: ‘I wouldn’t call this PROFOUND.’ Then he started to cry.’
2. ‘I gave a young female patient her anesthesia for a standard colonoscopy and while I was giving her the propofol, it kicked in for her. She sat up straight and shouted at everyone in the room: ‘I SHAVED MY ASS FOR YOU’ and then fell into her pillow in a deep sleep.’
3. ‘I had just come out of my anesthesia. Apparently, I didn't recognize my wife and I refused her touches. I told her she was beautiful, but that I was already married.’
4. ‘Nurse here, with a story from when I was 22. A teenager woke up from his anesthesia, looked at me and said: ‘Hey, you’re the girl from last night!’ I had to assure everyone a few times that I was NOT that girl.’
5. ‘While I was anesthetizing someone for a colonoscopy, that patient said: ‘You’re cute. Are you going to see my ass?!’ and then fell asleep.’
6. ‘One of my female patients woke up from anesthesia and embarrassed her husband quite a bit (who was also in the room) by saying that he likes to have Vicks rubbed on his back during sex.’
7. ‘When my mother woke up, the doctor asked her if she recognized the people in the room. She recognized my sister, called me my brother, then smiled at my stepfather and called him a jerk.’
8. ‘Apparently, I told my anesthesiologist while he was putting me under: ‘Don’t mess this up, I know where you work.’’
9. ‘My doctors said that I told them upon waking that I love dogs and wanted to eat the Taliban.’
10. ‘My husband once took Ambien and it made him completely lose it. At first, he said he couldn’t walk up the stairs because he was a Transformer and his legs were wheels now. I finally got him upstairs when he made the observation that it would be really beautiful if peach trees could sing to each other like whales. ‘I bet they would sing Adele then.’ Then he burst into tears.’
11. ‘I woke up after they reset my heart and shouted: ‘Hey! HEY!’ The nurse asked what was wrong and then I shouted: ‘My chest really hurts!’ Answer: ‘That’s because you just got a shock.’ I said ‘oh’ and fell back into a deep sleep.’
