18x nonsensical texts you blurt out to your dog

Throughout the day, I have conversations out loud with Sjaan, including when we are walking outside together. I am firmly convinced that she experiences this as great fun too, after all, it is the moment of the day when we can catch up, even if she hardly responds.

During these walks, (most likely dogless) people often stare at me as if I have gone crazy. I understand that it can come across as quite childish and silly, but research really shows that people who talk to their dog are more intelligent, so I hold on to that.

Okay, I admit that I am sometimes aware that I am spouting nonsense. Or things that can sound quite ridiculous to passersby, especially when directed at your pet. Still, I am almost certain that all proud dog owners say the same thing and recognize the statements below. Of course, spoken in an annoying high-pitched voice, because otherwise we are afraid we won't be understood.

1. ‘Shall we go for a nice walk? Yes, shall we do that? Okay, well, then let's do that.’

2. ‘Fun, right? We are having fun, right? Huh? Huh? Huh?’

3. ‘Don't do that, sweetheart. Just leave that poop there for now.’

4. ‘Come on, darling, just walk on now.’

5. ‘That's a nice little dog too, right? Yes, right? That one is sweet too, right? Just like you.’

6. ‘Go play nicely, come on.’

7. ‘You just played so nicely, right? Yes, right, you played so well.’

8. ‘You are really a very tough dog, did you know that?’

9. ‘Did you miss mommy a little? Mommy missed you, you know.’

10. ‘We are going to the pet store together soon. What do you think of that?’

11. ‘You are really my very best friend.’

12. ‘Shall we lie down on the couch soon? Do you feel like that too?’

13. ‘Let's stop scratching now.’

14. ‘Mommy loves you very much, you know that, right?’

15. ‘Ooooh, did I see a little yawn there? Then let's go home.’

16. ‘Mommy is going to give you a shower soon and I know you don't like that, but afterwards you will get a nice chew from me. Do you think that's a good idea?’

17. ‘Sleep well, sweetheart. Go dream nicely. Good night.’

18. ‘Oh no, did you have a nightmare? Everything is okay, go back to sleep nicely.’