People say: ‘this is the dumbest reason I have been banned from a store or restaurant’

As you probably have noticed (and hopefully have benefited from), the hospitality industry is open again. Joy all around, of course, but mi gado: also drinks everywhere. I had forgotten how incredibly drunk people can get on the weekends. I have nothing against it, unless people start to get rowdy. I was talking with a friend (who owns a hospitality business in Amsterdam) about how literally EVERYTHING from the women's restroom gets stolen. Paintings, photo frames, candles, vases; you name it. Bizarre.

If you get caught doing that by the staff, then you will — I guess — get quite a reasonable lecture. But you really have to go overboard if you want to be unwelcome somewhere. These people on Reddit managed to do it. With quite a silly reason. Very funny reasons by the way, and that's why I'm sharing them with you again.

1. ‘I was once banned from a pub for burping... Seriously, it was in the Conan Doyle pub in Edinburgh, years ago. Our small group was not annoying at all — and my burp was not intentional or meant to disturb people: it was actually quite discreet, and simply the result of drinking too many carbonated drinks. Nothing more, nothing less.

But we were sitting near the bar, the bartender heard it, and we were all thrown out. And because we disagreed with that, thinking he was playing a bad joke on us, I got — seriously — a lifetime ban.’

2. ‘I was banned from entering the shopping mall because I was wearing an offensive shirt that I had bought in that mall.’

3. ‘By feeding the seagulls. We ruined the dining experience of the entire upper deck of the restaurant because of a few fries. Dozens, maybe even a hundred came flocking. It was like a scene from The Birds. People had to be evacuated.’

4. ‘My family has been banned from a local pizzeria for years, because of my mother. She used to have some anger issues and also really, really, really loves garlic butter. When the pizzeria forgot the garlic butter with our order, she called and asked if they could bring the garlic butter to our house. The pizzeria said (rightly) that they couldn't do that, but that she could pick it up. She stormed over there with our pizzas and then threw those pizzas all over the place and smeared them on the windows. I have never been able to eat their pizza again.’

5. ‘I was not allowed to visit Costco for six months. They were giving out free samples of cheesecake and a woman took about eight pieces while there was a line of seven people behind her. I deliberately threw her plate on the ground. They understood why I did it, but still, I got that six-month punishment.’

6. ‘When I went to an all-you-can-eat Japanese restaurant, I ordered five rounds of grilled salmon because I don't like raw fish. When I asked for a sixth, they asked me to leave and not come back.’

7. ‘I was banned from an Irish pub in Disney World because we got fifty people to clap on the tables to the rhythm of the live folk band.’