6 signs that you are in a toxic relationship with yourself

If you've been following the case between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard a bit, you probably know what a toxic relationship entails: a harmful connection between two people. In such a toxic relationship, one person usually has the power, making it feel impossible for the other to leave.

Even though it seems like such a toxic relationship just ‘happens’ to you, according to psychologist Lalitaa Suglani, you don't just end up in one . She believes that a toxic relationship with another largely stems from a toxic relationship with yourself. That means: an extremely low self-image and a lack of self-respect, leading you to even believe that you 'deserve' to be in such a nasty relationship.. That's why it's crucial to take a good look at the relationship we have with none other than ourselves. To keep the eternal cliché alive: we must first be happy ourselves before we can share that happiness with another.

But how do you know if you're in a toxic relationship with yourself?.

According to Suglani , the following signs indicate that: 1. You often speak poorly of yourself and criticize everything you do

You probably put yourself down so often that you don't even realize you're doing it. However, you can become aware of this by considering whether you would say what you say to yourself to a friend or even to a stranger. If not, then you know you really need to be kinder to yourself.

2. You often cross your own boundaries.

How can we expect others not to cross our boundaries if we constantly cross our own? Exactly: impossible. Whether it's saying 'no' to something, taking a break, or taking the time to check in with how you feel inside; setting boundaries for yourself is crucial for your mental well-being and your body.  

3. You struggle to put yourself first.

This means: you find it difficult to take good care of yourself. I'm not talking about 'self-care', face masks, and occasional foot baths, because those won't help you truly improve your relationship with yourself. I mean that instead, you should try to make structured time for yourself. Time in which you cook an elaborate meal, take a long walk on the beach, or follow your favorite workout class. In short: taking care of yourself should become a regular routine.

4. You refuse to work on yourself.

No one is perfect, and we all have our strengths and weaknesses, but you owe it to yourself to want to be the best version of yourself. So if you feel like you could use some help but refuse to take action? Do you keep postponing it and making excuses not to do it? Unfortunately, that's a sign of little self-love.

5. You thrive on drama and chaos.

Staying up all night, having no plan, and pushing yourself to the limit can sometimes feel liberating. Yet, this is a sign of little self-love, as it often leads you to cross your own boundaries. There's nothing wrong with seeking calmness, tranquility, and peace in your daily life. By doing so, you learn to set priorities and distance yourself from people and situations that drain you. I repeat: protect your energy and guard your own boundaries.

6. You feel that nothing you do is good enough.

When you're generally too hard on yourself, you can easily fall into a downward spiral, where you blame yourself for everything that goes wrong. Ultimately, this delusion can even lead to self-harm. According to Suglani, more people than ever are currently suffering from this, and there is even a term for it: imposter syndrome. People who suffer from this feel like imposters and that they could be exposed at any moment. Therefore, according to Suglani, it's crucial to learn to accept that you're not perfect and to keep reminding yourself that you're just 'a human' and not responsible for all the suffering in the world. Recognition and acceptance are key.

Having a toxic relationship with yourself.