The 6 most important reasons for a successful friends with benefits
It sounds so ideal, friends with benefits. Enjoy the pleasures, but not the burdens. In practice, it often works out differently: it starts off so perfectly, only to end up super ugly. And with a bit of bad luck, you might not only lose those benefits but also your friend. A horror scenario, indeed. That's why it's wise to apply rules in such an FWB situation. Even though friends with benefits sounds so casually and promiscuously appealing, properly defining the boundaries ensures that no one gets hurt.
Alright, so let's set some rules. And which ones are those? Psychology Today Psychology Today figured it out for us.
1. Be honest with each other
Easier said than done, because how tempting is it when you start to develop feelings for your FWB to say nothing and just hope that the other person feels it too? And that's exactly a situation where you really need to be honest with each other.
2. Hold back
This might sound strange too, but it relates to the previous point: you can try to keep your feelings in check if you don't want to fall in love. No pet names, for example, and no expressions of jealousy. Also strictly forbidden: fantasizing with other friends about what a relationship with your FWB would be like.
3. Don't cheat
Whuuut? But an FWB is not a relationship? That's correct, but it's still not beneficial for your FWB situation if you're also involved with many others. Not in terms of feelings, and also not in terms of potential STIs.
4. But you can sleep with others
HUH? This relates to rule number 1: communicate this honestly with each other. If you both find it okay, then it's not a problem. If it hasn't been discussed yet, then the previous rule applies.
5. Sex is the most important thing
Your FWB situation is primarily about sex. Doing things out of friendship should not involve sex. Additionally, you also shouldn't sleep over if you end up in bed together. Some people have an extra condition: only sex if you're out and/or drinking.
6. Be clear about your relational desires
Don't continue with a friend with benefits if you're looking for a relationship or want to date someone else. You should communicate this clearly to your FWB and cut it off immediately.
Everything clear? Well, then nothing stands in the way of a perfect friend with benefits.
