I watched Senior Year so you don't have to
Oh Netflix, you really are an unpredictable streaming service. One week you treat us to the best true crime documentaries, and the next week you come out with a movie like Senior Year. Never a dull moment, that's for sure. But it also makes it harder for me; I genuinely thought this would be a fun movie, given your quality over the past months. But oh no. No, no, no. This has nothing to do with quality. I must honestly admit that I find Rebel Wilson a very annoying actress, but if you don't feel that way: just wait.
This is really in a category of its own for being bad. And the bizarre thing is that I actually liked the beginning; the movie is about Stephanie, a seventeen-year-old cheerleader who finds it very important to be popular at school. It's the year 2002, so I really loved the soundtrack since it also comes from my youth (yes, I'm that old: I was in the second year of high school that year). Mandy Moore, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears; they all make an appearance and that's always good news.
But anyway, Stephanie is a cheerleader, super popular, and also dating the hottest guy in school, Blaine. Nothing stands in her way of becoming Prom Queen, her biggest dream. But then fate strikes during a performance of her cheer squad: she takes a nasty fall and falls into a coma. Twenty years. Yes, you read that right: TWENTY years. It's a good thing you know this is a comedy, otherwise it would be a major tearjerker.
After twenty years, Stephanie (while lying in a coma) hears the words ‘prom queen’ and miraculously awakens. Everything about this is miraculous, by the way, because she jumps out of bed fitter than ever, is immediately sassy with literally everyone around her, and is mentally still a seventeen-year-old. Fine, I get that it's an unbelievable comedy, but come on creators: after being in a coma for twenty years, can't you at least let her learn to walk again for five minutes or something? Make it at least a bit more believable.
But no, it only gets worse. Stephanie's dream is still to become prom queen, and so she goes back to school within a week of waking up from her twenty-year coma to finish her senior year — and to become prom queen. The only problem is that prom queens have been abolished because it's not woke enough. Yes, it really makes your head spin with the wokeness lines being spewed by the most stereotypical, superficial characters.
But what I found most bizarre is the romance in this film. Stephanie is mentally still seventeen, in the body of a 37-year-old. The first thing she does when she wakes up from her coma is go to her former boyfriend Blaine (who is now married to her arch-rival and has a daughter with her), who is so charmed by her that he suggests starting an affair. Additionally, her childhood friend (who is now a librarian at the high school) is also head over heels in love with her, which he has actually been since they were younger, and immediately asks her out on a date. Just realize: these are men around 37 who find a woman who is mentally seventeen wildly attractive.
No worries, these are not real spoilers; all of this becomes clear in the first half hour. After that, you are bombarded with terrible clichés, misplaced jokes, and a Rebel Wilson making countless remarks about vaginas, people masturbating in cinemas, and riding the wall when she has to hand in her phone as punishment. Really, I wish I were making a joke. Final verdict: 2/10.
Image: Netflix
