With your pants down: you should actually talk about fear
It was in the Appie on the Nieuwezijds Voorburgwal. I quickly ducked inside after a drink on the terrace and suddenly the supermarket came at me. My heart was almost pounding through my chest. I first felt warm and then my head became icy cold. All I wanted was to get away, outside and straight home. I don't even remember how I got there. I had a panic attack.
Thank goodness it was my first and immediately last, because I still feel it when I think back to that afternoon. A panic attack is not a cause, but a consequence. A consequence of fears that you can't do anything with, while it is precisely good to talk about it according to experts Maggie Sarachek and Abbe Greenberg. They wrote the book Survival for Stress Chickens, because there are many more people who are scared and anxious than anyone thinks.
I used to be terrified of the dark, so I slept with my pink nightlight on. When I was home alone, I invited everyone and anyone to come sleep over, because hell no I dared to sleep alone. But the older I got, the milder my fears became. Although sometimes I can suddenly feel that little girl who is afraid to go to the bathroom in the dark at night. That's why I try to have understanding for every fear or panic attack, even if I can't imagine it. Did you know that one in five people will experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their life? The annoying thing is that almost no one talks about it, again out of fear of not being understood. Which I understand, because I also feel far from brave when I (35 years old, yes) admit that I'm sometimes still afraid of the dark. It is also the case that women are twice as likely to develop an anxiety disorder. Sarachek and Greenberg see a red flag in the increase of stress. If you experience this, you need to be careful. But they also provide First Aid for a Panic Attack.
- Don't believe everything you think, because often your thoughts play tricks on you. Look at the situation and ask yourself practical questions about it.
- Slow down your breathing. A few times in through your nose and longer out through your mouth helps. After five calm breaths in and out, your heart rate decreases and your body gets a signal that everything is okay.
- Create your own meltdown kit, which is a small package with things that calm you down.
- Do what is scary, because exposing yourself to a situation makes it less scary.
- Watch out for the fear cycle, because before you know it, you won't dare to go anywhere, so avoid as few situations as possible.
And now that we're talking about being anxious, I'll give you a podcast tip right away. In Komt een meid bij de Psych, Eva Breda shares her therapy sessions about fears. One of the best podcasts of the year if you ask me. Already now.
