Tempa Talk

Yeah, I can hardly keep up with this anymore. Just when I was comfortably on my pink cloud because The Bachelor had a romantic ending (yes, for the first time there actually is a couple), I have to switch gears again because all the relationships are crashing. Yes, it's time for Temptation again. You’re not gonna tempt ~MeEeEe~. Finally something deliciously vulgar again. The first two episodes were already online, so now it's time for the third. In other words: let the games begin. Temptation is back.

1. It's always the people you least expect: how many people had Ivo as the number one first cheater? Not me.

2. While he already goes quite far in episode two. In fact, he already indicated to his current partner that that fire might ignite with him. Great then. Really a nice feeling when you leave your man for over a week who is in a villa full of singles.

3. Every time I watch Temptation, I really feel like I'm secretly talking super posh. Am I so out of tune that I've never told anyone that I think he or she is ‘so lukewarm’?

4. Ah, there it is again: romance à la Temptation. ‘I don't want to get married, it's too expensive, I'd rather buy a new car.’ Who doesn't melt at that?

5. Ivo gives me the creeps. Yes, sorry. Maybe it's because I'm still completely in the Bachelor love, but after nine years to be so easily away from someone after two days? Nope. Not for me.

6. After hearing ‘process’ six times in half a minute, I've lost the whole point. Is this going to be the word of the season? And ‘trust the process’ the new motto?

7. Did Jan Sietse happen to go to the Dominican Republic three months earlier? My goodness, that guy is so tanned.

8. Dingdong, the next shot is already on: Linde also starts talking about the ‘process’. Yes, you read that right: we're going to make a drinking game out of this. I'm not responsible for the hangover.

9. Woohoo, new singles. Whitney is definitely going to make the best one-liners this season: ‘The more women, the better I can develop.’ Please explain this logic to me. How does this work?

10. Why is it that every season the types of participants are categorized into ‘that looks like my current partner, so it's my type’? None of my exes look alike. And I would run away hard from a precise doppelgänger if I encountered one.

11. ‘I'm a real Rotterdammer.’
‘Oh yes, I think that's what every woman falls for.’
Wait, whut? Can you not speak for the entire female population for a moment?

12. Ivo decides to be faithful to Esmee after just two days. Not to his current partner, no, but to the single seductress Esmé.

13. ‘Do you want me to put on my bikini? I can.’ And off she goes to change. What is this, guys? Why am I watching this? Why are we doing this to ourselves?

14. No okay, I'm genuinely glad it's started again because is there anything more fun than watching drunk people ruin their relationships on TV?

15. ‘Just be very careful with your appearance,’ says seducer Hans, who probably has no idea what he actually means by this.

16. We don't attack him for his ugly Hawaiian shirt, do we? No, exactly. Let everyone just be themselves.

17. HAHA. Oh no. No, sorry. Can't laugh. But Hans, who rightly gets a hard time and has to cry during Stil In Mij by Van Dik Hout, is everything I wanted to see in this episode. Sorry, Hans.

18. ‘Could you please speak more German to me?’

19. ‘When we look at each other sometimes, I think of camping. Because usually, I'm setting up a tent.’

20. Sabine, a female seducer, is looking for a man who has everything together in his life. That's why Sabine is participating in Temptation, to see if there happens to be a taken man who meets those requirements.

21. I'm speechless.

22. Noooo, people, it's episode THREE. And Ivo is already going into the room with Esmé?! What kind of season is this going to be?! And then next time immediately a campfire. Poor Maris. Hello, poor ME; my trust in love has been completely shattered again.