This is the forbidden sentence

I have been with my beloved for twenty years and seriously, you can grab a bucket if you want, when I hear him putting the key in the lock I think: cozy! And yes, I also quickly brush my hair or swap those truly fashionable but not really attractive Chloé flip-flops for a heel. Keeping a relationship fun is work, my friend K said. I think work sounds a bit too much like it has to be (on the other hand: I also enjoy my work), but I think making a bit of an effort helps with your happiness in life.

There is also a list of things you better not do. Whining that the laundry is on the floor instead of in the basket for example. How much time does it really take you to pick up that laundry? Two seconds, and then you are not a whiner. Complaining about the dishes that are on the counter and not in the dishwasher is a point for improvement for me. Just like items that are on the stairs that are not taken upstairs. Usually, when I ask why no one takes the items upstairs from the stairs, I get the answer: ‘I didn't know if it had to go up or down?’ Sure. That's why it's also at the bottom of the stairs.

But there is one sentence that is the killer in relationship happiness if you ask me and it goes as follows: ‘Haven't I already told you that?’ and that one must go on the blacklist. Because this is actually a reaction to something the other person cannot do anything about. In the case of laundry on the floor, dishes in the dishwasher, or items to take from the stairs, you have clear visual hints of what is expected of you, but if someone has told you something that you apparently did not hear or have forgotten, then you cannot do anything about it. So never say this and just repeat the story once more. It's free and it keeps things much cozier. Believe me, you will be grateful to me again.