8 x things you can't imagine if you don't have children

For a few years now, I have been a proud aunt of the two sweetest little beings of my sister. I sometimes babysit for a day and then rush home with screeching tires. It's completely true what they say: it's a full-time job. I used to whine as the youngest for a smaller brother or sister from my parents, but I understand all too well that they were quite done with it after my arrival.

What always strikes me is that people with children continuously talk about their offspring, despite the fact that they are already busy with their children all day long. As if it’s not enough that you are taking care of them 24/7. Don’t you crave other topics of conversation when you finally get to leave the house without them? Or could this be a guilt feeling that I don’t know? That you feel so guilty for being away from your children and therefore talk about them? I really wouldn’t know. And there are more things I don’t understand, simply because I don’t have children. Who knows, maybe one day I will see it all.

1. There is a life before and after children
I always hear parents say this and I find it anything but pleasant. It sounds very frightening, like: know what you’re doing, there’s no turning back. And I understand that you can’t just give up your child, but it still feels so negative because I always have the idea that people actually liked the other life before more. But well, that’s most likely my own interpretation and also a great fear.

2. You can’t just have drinks on Friday anymore
Every week I live from Monday towards Friday again. Friday is a fantastic day: the weekend is at your feet and you know there’s a party in the evening. Often this starts already after your workday, around six o'clock, and then you see where the ship ends up. But when you have a newborn baby at home, you don’t see where the ship ends up on Friday at all. You already know that you can’t go out and Fridays are no longer party days. I can’t and don’t want to imagine this yet.

3. Vacations need to be planned well in advance
Taking the car and spontaneously driving to Paris with friends? Unfortunately, that’s not possible when you have children. Spontaneous trips are out of the question because everything needs to be planned down to the last detail. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s planning. The longer something is set in stone, the less I want to do it. But well, I understand: someone needs to babysit at home. Or do you always take your child on vacation?

4. You can’t just walk out the door
Just running errands, taking a sports class, or having coffee with someone; that can’t just happen anymore, right? You would think that the baby monitor is the perfect solution for this, but I have the feeling that this gadget is not a free pass to just walk out the door.

5. That you are capable of raising a living being
How difficult is it sometimes to take care of yourself? I find brushing my hair a huge task. And when I look around my kitchen, there’s hardly anything there with which I could properly feed someone (including myself). Wine and a large bar of Toblerone, that’s what you get here. But well, that’s probably the primal mother instinct, of which I know nothing. My sister was also always a misguided projectile and suddenly she’s the best mother ever. For now, I still can’t see myself keeping someone alive.

6. Your newborn E.T. baby is the cutest baby ever
I always find this so funny: parents who are absolutely convinced that they have brought a beautiful baby into the world, even though it’s only two days old and looks like a kind of crumpled pink worm-like E.T. That rose-colored glasses you wear when you’re in love with someone, you’ll probably have that non-stop from the moment you have a child. Although I recently laughed a lot with my sister at the photos of my newborn niece, who really still had a folded head, but my sister thought she was so beautiful. And I must admit that too, so maybe I can imagine this just a tiny bit.

7. Even at home, you can’t suddenly get extremely drunk
Sometimes it can happen that you are sitting alone on the couch with a bottle of wine. When you’ve had a bit too many glasses, you’re grinning and enjoying the moment. But imagine you suddenly have to get your baby out of bed: totally irresponsible, of course. That just can’t happen anymore.

8. There are things you only understand if you are a mother
Actually, this applies to everything I just said: there are things you simply only understand if you are a mother, for example, that there is someone walking around on this earth for whom you would easily sacrifice your own life. It’s the primal mother instinct that I certainly see in my own mother and sister, but that I have never experienced myself. Maybe to a slight extent with my dog, but mothers will say that this is not comparable, and I gladly take that from them.