30 things you think during a one-night stand

One-night stands: some can enjoy it to the fullest while others find it terrible. Personally, I'm not a big fan of it, but that might be because I have little experience with it. After all, if you hop from relationship to relationship (like I have been doing for years), you don't really have the space for one-night stands. Still, I once had one, which was also immediately the last one. I won't go into detail, but I found it absolutely nothing.

While the man in question was still in a coma, I left unnoticed very early the next morning. Well, we won't see him again, I thought. But once home, I made the terrible discovery that I had forgotten my phone, which forced me to return to that house. So there I was a little later ringing the bell, showered and all. I was stared at in surprise, because how could it be that I suddenly stood at the door in different clothes? That was, of course, not taken kindly. I quickly grabbed my phone and left (again). This time really a goodbye for good.

Well, during such a one-night stand, of course, a lot of things go through your mind. From expressing regret to yourself to observations of the space, the following thoughts are most likely very recognizable:

1. I already regret this, this is not for me.

2. Can't we just order a hair salon and drink tea?

3. Can I still go? Is that allowed?

4. Ohhh no, there are housemates. This is already a total nightmare.

5. How often would he do this? I bet he does this every weekend and I'll end up on some list.

6. Yes, I'm sure: this is really the most normal thing in the world for him.

7. You just stay here on the couch. Do you hear me? You are NOT going to that room.

8. Shit... He asks if we are going to drink something upstairs. Okay, I guess I'll go along.

9. What kind of weird musty little room is this?

10. Did he cut those curtains himself?

11. How often would he change that bed? I don't even want to know.

12. Yuck, there's so much dust here.

13. Is there seriously a toilet roll on the nightstand?

14. And why is there a kind of pump with soap next to it?

15. My god, he doesn't even have one cozy night lamp.

16. I'm sober again, geez, this sucks.

17. Okay, there's no turning back.

18. Pff, this is really not my type at all.

19. Is that hairline already receding?

20. Oh no, I really don't like this at all.

21. Just give in, people enjoy this.

22. Do people really enjoy this?

23. Is he seriously picking that towel off the floor?

24. Hopefully, I won't have to lie in this hold all night.

25. Is he already asleep? I can hear him breathing very deeply.

26. I'm really not going to be able to close my eyes here.

27. Is it antisocial if I leave now?

28. Okay, I'm just going home.

29. Finally home, straight to the shower and into my bed.

30. I'm never doing this again.