Sexy Friday

21 SENTENCES THAT GO THROUGH YOUR HEAD WHEN YOU RECEIVE A CUNNILINGUS

“Oh yes, I’m coming, I’m coming, I’M COMING! Fuck, not anymore…”

So, let’s not beat around the bush. When your lover, fling, or one-night stand crawls down under for a one-way ticket to heaven, some absurd thoughts will definitely cross your mind. And that’s why: the 21 sentences that women think when they get to receive cunnilingus.

1. “Oh good lord, I haven’t showered, does it still smell a bit fresh down there? Help.”
2. “Am I ruining the moment if I say I want to quickly showering? Yes, right?”
3. “Okay, Mister Horny apparently doesn’t care. Oh god, that tickles.”
4. “Next to those new shoes, I’ve been needing this all day.”
5. “Thank god, he loves to go down.”
6. “This can really last for hours for me…”
7. ”I didn’t mean literally, why the fuck is it taking so long for me to come?”
8. “When I say ‘keep going’, I mean keep doing exactly what you’re doing RIGHT NOW. Don’t interpret my enthusiasm as a free pass to suddenly move very hysterically aggressive.”
9. “Will he already have cramps in his jaws?”
10. “Oh yes, I’m coming, I’m coming, I’M COMING! Fuck, not anymore… Oh no, he’s still not tired, right?”
11. “Imagine if you suddenly fart. Right in his face. Whatever you do: don’t fart. Don’t fart. DON’T FART.”
12. “JUST DO WHAT I’VE EXPLAINED 8,569 TIMES $%#@*. And clean your room for once, man, djeeeeeez.”
13. ‘Maybe I should just fake it…”
14. ”But nobody gets happy from that. Yeezus, focus. FOCUS!”
15. ”Maybe it’ll go faster if I moan a bit louder…”
16. “Okay, okay, now we’re talking. I feel the pleasure tingling in my lower belly.”
17. “DON’T DARE TO STOP, FRIEND.”
18. “OKAY, I’M GOING TO EXPLODE.”
19. “And oh please, ignore my orgasm face.”
20. “Pfff this was heavenly. Okay, I’m hungry. What am I going to eat later?”
21. “Ah, nice: I rolled RIGHT onto the wet spot. Dammit.”

And if you’re already having such a good time: 7 ways to come faster, better, and more intensely. Have a nice Friday, people.