This is actually where your fear of flying comes from

Tomorrow I will board the plane again heading to Amsterdam from Mexico. This flight lasts about ten hours, which is absolute hell for someone with a fear of flying. Someone like me, I mean, because for as long as I can remember, I find flying terrifying. The aircraft only has to shake a little bit, and I mentally say goodbye to everything and everyone. Undoubtedly, it has something to do with the endless number of episodes of Air Crash Investigation that I have seen on National Geographic. Because of this, I know exactly what can go wrong during a flight, and once you know that, you can never get it out of your head. I once experienced a go-around, where the pilots had to make several attempts to land. With all my collected television knowledge, I could confidently tell the passengers around me that the altimeters were probably malfunctioning. They did not find that very reassuring to hear.

But the absolute low point I experienced on a flight to Thailand, where I ended up in an air pocket. An air pocket is a downdraft where cooled, heavier air moves downward. This causes the plane to drop suddenly by several meters, making you feel like you are crashing. It was a disaster; people were screaming and crying, the staff said nothing at all, and I ended up having my first (real) panic attack. For a moment, I resolved never to fly again, but I also knew that this was not a realistic thought. That’s why I signed up for an online help guide with fear coach Mike Hoffmeister, a name that everyone with a fear of flying undoubtedly knows. I still receive weekly automated emails asking if I still suffer from my fears. Yes, I still do, Mike.

I often wonder why we can be so extremely afraid of a flight, while it is much more dangerous to ride your bike through Amsterdam. And are we really afraid of crashing, or is fear of flying purely a reaction of our body due to that one miserable experience? According to clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Teije Koopmans, fear of flying is always linked to other fears: ‘Fear of flying does not exist on its own. There are so many underlying other fears that can cause it. This can be a fear of losing control or fear of enclosed spaces, for example. There is almost always a deeper layer underneath. So you need to address what causes that fear. Only then can you get rid of your fear of flying.’

By no means am I the only one: one in three Dutch people finds it scary to board a plane, according to figures from the Valk Foundation, an organization specialized in treating fear of flying. A third of this group only flies if absolutely necessary, while the rest never flies because they are simply too afraid. According to Koopmans, another fear or a bad memory can cause fear of flying. It can be triggered by an unpleasant experience with flying, but also by, for example, a negative experience in an elevator, which can spread to a general fear of enclosed spaces, including airplanes.

According to the experts (Mike Hoffmeister and Teije Koopmans), we can overcome our fear of flying. ‘It is important to educate yourself so that you realize that flying is absolutely not dangerous. For example, Google how an airplane works and how it can fly. Then you understand better that it is not dangerous.’ I realize this all too well when I am safely on the ground, but as soon as I am in the air, I think very differently about it again. This trick does not work for me.

What I do find a good tip is to avoid sugar and caffeine-containing products before the flight. Your heart rate is already elevated due to all the stress, so these kinds of products only make that feeling worse. Skip that Starbucks at the airport next time.

Many people can also benefit from breathing exercises, as they can influence the activation of our stress system. By adjusting your breathing, you signal to your body that you have control over your body. Easier said than done, but definitely worth trying.

Additionally, distraction offers a temporary solution, such as watching a movie or playing a game. So tomorrow, during severe turbulence, I will try to force myself to keep watching my movie instead of looking at the faces of my fellow passengers to check if they are also in a panic.

According to the experts, the very best remedy is: keep flying. Because if you start avoiding flying, it becomes increasingly difficult. Well, I will at least follow this advice properly. It’s just going to be old-fashioned survival tomorrow.