This is why we have much less sex these days
Where people used to have a lot of sex in the ‘good old days’, we seem to not even have time for one sexual encounter a week nowadays. It's sad but true, as the knowledge center for sexuality Rutgers has really confirmed this. They conducted a large-scale study among about 17,000 Dutch people, from which it appeared that five out of six 25-plus individuals have sex less than once a week. That's significantly less than 25 years ago, when having sex twice a week was still easily achievable. Why has it become so significantly less? Because we are simply too busy with other (and if you ask me, the wrong) things.
In the past, people didn't spend the whole day aimlessly scrolling on their phones. That thing really breaks more than you love, because we are constantly distracted by it and become totally overstimulated. Additionally, we are much more in our heads nowadays, due to our busy jobs in the current performance society. This combination of both is quite toxic, as one message in the evening from your colleague can already ensure that you are no longer in the ’mood‘ for the rest of the evening. The desire for sex arises precisely when you are relaxed, and all those vibrating phone notifications certainly do not help with that.
Research from health insurer Anderzorg has also shown that 37 percent of women and 23 percent of men cannot enjoy sex because their thoughts wander due to all that stress and busyness. Some couples have even completely stopped having sex. According to sexologist Eveline Stallaart, our current society strives for perfection and we work so much because we have to, from none other than ourselves. So actually, we are doing this sex shortage to ourselves, because we are too often not present with our heads. I find this conclusion quite sad.
I personally think that especially the phone is the main culprit. The report from Stallaart also shows that more than three-quarters of the participants take their phone to bed. Unfortunately, I am also guilty of this. Additionally, one in five young people under thirty even gets distracted by their phone during sex. Finally, a total of seventy percent of the participants indicated that phone use in bed negatively affects their sex life. Pff, that's really a lot, isn't it?
There must be a solution for this, right? Immediately stopping hard work doesn't seem like an ideal option, but keeping the phone out of the bedroom would be a nice start. And if that feels a bit too far, you could, for example, put your phone on airplane mode from a certain time. Shall we try to start with that?
