The 3 signals that you are the problem in your relationship

Het is mij, hallo - ik ben het probleem, het is mij.

A song lyric by Taylor Swift that could so easily be in my personal diary, but that's the case with most of her songs. Still, I want to talk about it here, because no matter how difficult it is: sometimes you are really the problem, especially in relationships. It's not easy to accept, because it's much nicer to blame the other person and complain to your friends that you don't understand why it isn't working.

But according to psychologists, we should be more honest with ourselves; sometimes you are the problem in a relationship. According to those experts, this is the case in the situations below.

1. You romanticize (potential) partners too much
The danger of this is that you become so blinded by how perfect that one person is, that it is no longer realistic, nor are your expectations of that person. The person you have created in your head simply does not exist. Where does this come from? Often, people who do this have little self-confidence and self-worth. Definitely something to work on, so if this sounds familiar to you. How do you counter this? Give your new potential partner the space and time to get to know you and talk to them, this way you will discover someone's norms and values instead of fantasizing about everything.

2. Chasing someone who just got out of a relationship
Well, this is not always the case, but there is certainly a chance that you are a rebound. And then it may be that this relationship is anything but healthy and has no chance of success. How do you know if you are this rebound? If your new love often talks about his/her ex or if you don't always know where you stand and receive mixed signals from the other person. Then it's time to pack your bags.

3. Expecting too much from the other after having sex
For some, sex does not equal feelings and can exist very well separately. But it can also be that you have had sex and suddenly find that person much more likable, interesting, and attractive. How do you find out if it might be the same for the other person? By continuing to communicate and being open about how you feel, and also indicating that you want to do fun things that have nothing to do with sex. If you also enjoy each other's company outside the bedroom, the chances are greater that it becomes more than just sex.

Source: Psychology Today