The 7 break-up mistakes you want to avoid
Everyone whose heart has ever been broken knows that a breakup is never easy. Heartbreak is truly one of the heaviest forms of sadness, and when a relationship ends that you have invested your whole heart in, it makes sense that it is very difficult to cope with. Even if you are the one who ended the relationship, a breakup can be hard to process, but in that case, you do have the power to prevent unnecessary pain for the other person. Aside from the fact that you no longer want to continue with your partner, it is very important to deliver this news with the same form of love and respect that you have felt for him or her all this time. Weigh your words carefully and make sure to avoid the following breakup mistakes at all times:
1. Ghosting
I find ghosting to be bad form even if you just met someone, let alone if you have already had a whole relationship with that person. Although it may be difficult to deal with questions and sadness from your (ex-)partner, it is important to take the time for this and not just turn your back on him or her. At the very least, provide a good explanation for why you want to end the relationship and give your partner the space to respond.
2. Hiding behind a screen
A romantic relationship is intimate, and ending it should reflect that. So never break up via WhatsApp, email, or Post-it (please tell me I'm not the only one who can almost recite that Sex and the City episode). If you prefer to write down your feelings or need time to sort out your thoughts, that is of course fine. Just write down your thoughts and read them out loud in person. Ask the other person to give you the space you need to read your words uninterrupted so you can calmly make your point.
3. Making a public spectacle of your breakup
Never end your relationship in a public space or in a way that could cause a stir on social media. The end of a relationship is between two people who were only involved with each other, and the last thing you need is public humiliation or the opinions of others. Keep it to yourself.
4. Using words as weapons
If you find yourself getting irritated, feeling defensive, or tired of the other person, it can be difficult to think carefully about your word choice. However, words are important and powerful, especially if you know exactly what to say to get under the other person's skin. So think carefully about how you say something: words that are once said are hard to take back.
5. Cheating
I really think this is a mega cowardly way to end your relationship. Your partner deserves the respect of at least knowing that you no longer see the relationship as viable before you get involved with other people. Even if you have already mentally checked out of your relationship, it is crucial that you first communicate that the relationship has ended.
6. Forcing friends to take sides
Having a relationship, especially over a long period, can mean that you have gained mutual friends. Once the relationship is broken, it does not mean that your friendships should also end. Never force your friends to choose a side. They have the right to remain friends with both parties if they wish. If you force them to choose one person over the other, you may end up losing your friendships as well.
7. Lying and making excuses
It is important that you are honest with yourself about why you are ending the relationship, and it is best if you are transparent about that information when talking to your partner. No one benefits from you pretending everything is fine and continually postponing an inevitable breakup. This is a waste of time and energy for everyone involved and not a respectful way to end your relationship.
Image: Sex/Life, Netflix
