Love & Sex

Why Carrie and Mr. Big are the most toxic couple

By Wieke Veenboer | #!30Thu, 13 Apr 2023 15:30:38 +0200+02:003830#30Thu, 13 Apr 2023 15:30:38 +0200+02:00-3Europe\/Amsterdam3030Europe\/Amsterdam202330 13pm30pm-30Thu, 13 Apr 2023 15:30:38 +0200+02:003Europe\/Amsterdam3030Europe\/Amsterdam2023302023Thu, 13 Apr 2023 15:30:38 +0200303304pmThursday=9#!30Thu, 13 Apr 2023 15:30:38 +0200+02:00Europe\/Amsterdam4#04-13-2023#!30Thu, 13 Apr 2023 15:30:38 +0200+02:003830#\/30Thu, 13 Apr 2023 15:30:38 +0200+02:00-3Europe\/Amsterdam3030Europe\/Amsterdam202330#!30Thu, 13 Apr 2023 15:30:38 +0200+02:00Europe\/Amsterdam4#

Carrie and Mr. Big Sex and the City scene film

In the past, I could daydream so much about the dream couples from my favorite movies and series. A love like Jack and Rose in Titanic? YES please. Just like Allie and Noah in The Notebook (of course). That scene in the rain, you dream of that, right? But I also dreamed of a romance like Blair and Chuck and yes, also of a romance like Carrie and Mr. Big. What these romances have in common? They. Are. SO. Toxic.

Jack and Rose maybe the least, except that Rose was actually taken and there was definitely room on that door. But the rest? You really shouldn't want that. Noah forcing Allie to go on a date with him because otherwise he would throw himself off a Ferris wheel, Chuck who casually trades Blair for a hotel, and Carrie and Mr. Big: where do I even start?

I think this is the most toxic couple that has been on TV in recent years. From both sides, by the way. Their whole relationship started off incredibly shaky: Mr. Big had trust issues, but Carrie stubbornly held on, even when she found out he hadn't been completely honest about his past. He had once been married to a woman named Barbara. He just forgot to mention that. Toxic. Carrie then decides to look up Barbara because she wants to meet her. Uh, excuse me? Tóóóxic.

And when they are actually a couple, Big prefers not to announce it to the world in the first season of Sex and the City when they are at a party together. He introduces her to a friend as ‘a very special someone’, to which the friend thinks she is some Julia. Red flags everywhere, but Carrie decides not to talk about it, but just storms off. Again, red flags everywhere.

And throughout the seasons, they just seem to NOT communicate with each other. For example, Carrie can't stand that Big can't bring himself to say that he loves her. But instead of discussing it with him, she picks a fight with Big and ends up in bed with another man that night. Really a great way to deal with your issues. Yes, that was sarcasm.

This lack of normal communication goes on for six seasons, and then also in two cringeworthy bad movies, in which we experience the pinnacle of this in the first movie: they are finally getting married, but Big is still not entirely sure. And he doesn't talk about it, no way: he just bails before the wedding and only when he has decided he is ready, does he show up again. Instead of — maybe a crazy idea — talking to his fiancée about his fears?

In the past, I thought it was the ultimate gesture of love and romance; when a couple had broken up (preferably due to a fight) and one wanted to win the other back with some grand gesture, like Big winning Carrie back in Paris. When I recently rewatched Sex and the City, I only then noticed that these two people act like they have found the greatest love in each other, while they can't even manage to discuss one issue, no matter how small or big, normally with each other (correct me if I'm wrong, if you've seen the opposite in the series or movies).

And I haven't even mentioned the way Carrie treated Aidan...