Love & Sex

#FML: ‘I don't know whether to choose my old love or my husband’

By Amayzine | #!30Mon, 19 Jun 2023 13:30:14 +0200+02:001430#30Mon, 19 Jun 2023 13:30:14 +0200+02:00-1Europe/Amsterdam3030Europe/Amsterdam202330 19pm30pm-30Mon, 19 Jun 2023 13:30:14 +0200+02:001Europe/Amsterdam3030Europe/Amsterdam2023302023Mon, 19 Jun 2023 13:30:14 +0200301306pmMonday=9#!30Mon, 19 Jun 2023 13:30:14 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam6#06-19-2023#!30Mon, 19 Jun 2023 13:30:14 +0200+02:001430#/30Mon, 19 Jun 2023 13:30:14 +0200+02:00-1Europe/Amsterdam3030Europe/Amsterdam202330#!30Mon, 19 Jun 2023 13:30:14 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam6#

Man and woman looking at each other on the street emily in paris

‘I was 25 years old when I met Alex. He was the kind of man that immediately draws your eyes. He was handsome, charismatic, and full of adventure. We started talking at a New Year's Eve party, and there was an undeniable attraction between us right away: something I had never experienced before.

We began a brief but intense relationship. Alex was wild, full of life, and always looking for adventure. I was fascinated by his recklessness and felt like I was bursting with love when we were together. In hindsight, it might have been more of an adrenaline rush than love, but I became completely addicted to that feeling. I am, however, a bit more calm than Alex, and I quickly realized that we had different needs. While he still wanted to enjoy his freedom and had the urge to explore the world, I felt the need to settle down and build a stable life.

Eventually, we decided it was better to part ways. We had shared amazing moments together, but we were walking different paths in life. I found it hard to say goodbye to the excitement that Alex brought, but I knew I had to follow my own path. For months, I lay in bed feeling sorry for myself and realized how quiet my life was without Alex in it.

As it always goes, I eventually moved on with my life and met Martijn. A calm, stable man whom I eventually married. I also felt nice butterflies for him, but nowhere near as intense as for Alex. Still, I was happy with our marriage and our two daughters. This was the life I had hoped for.

But then, out of nowhere, Alex reappeared in my life. Suddenly, I saw him walking in the city. My heart skipped a beat from the excitement, and the moment I approached him, I immediately felt that he still brought that same thrill with him after all these years as he did back then. Not long after, I received a message from him: he indicated that he had thought about his life and that he had never been able to completely forget me. He asked if I was interested in exploring whether something could bloom between us again.

By now, all the old feelings have resurfaced, and I really don't know what to do. I am happy with Martijn, but all the emotions that are coming up now I have missed so much. Of course, I haven't acted on it; I would never betray Martijn, but I am in a kind of purgatory. Should I confess this to Martijn with all the consequences that entails? Should I meet with Alex to see if these feelings are real? Should I just forget everything and move on with my life? I am sure I can never sacrifice my family for an uncertain future with a man who was once too wild for me, but I also don't want to let go of this feeling for a second time. I really need to think this through, and time will tell…’