Dating Disasters: ‘How could he not feel that this was totally uncomfortable?’
In Dating Disasters, anonymous readers share their most embarrassing, cringeworthy, and dramatic dates. This week: the colleague.
From the moment I met my new colleague, I felt a tension hanging between us. I don't know how it happened; he was really the complete opposite of my usual type. Maybe it was the fact that we couldn't do anything with that tension or the way he interacted with the kids at our workplace, but I found him incredibly attractive. He found me attractive too, I could tell by everything.
Still, we didn't do anything about it for a long time. He had just come out of a relationship, and I had recently met someone I was having a great time with, and we worked too closely together to jeopardize our relationship as colleagues. Until that one evening. We had worked late (partly because it was so busy and partly because I was trying to process my now-failed situationship), after which he invited me for a drink at his place. I knew exactly what was going to happen, but given my fresh heartbreak, I was more than happy to go home with him. It seemed ideal. My colleague would become my rebound, and I wouldn't develop any feelings because my heart was still somewhere else at that moment.
We flopped down on his couch, and he opened a bottle of wine. We had always had a great time together, so this evening would surely be no different. However, I was quickly hit by the first disappointment of the evening. He was wearing an incredibly nasty and unattractive cologne. It smelled like some kind of musty, old-man incense. Not something to get very warm about, although he seemed very proud of it. He even showed me the bottle, which looked like something my grandfather wouldn't even put in his bathroom.
Anyway, somehow that didn't really lessen the attraction, so before the first glass was finished, I found myself on his lap, and we started kissing. That was disappointment number two. After weeks of tension and countless fantasies about what it would be like to kiss him, this first kiss was quite disappointing. His lips felt hard, and he used way too much tongue. When he pulled away from me and even asked if he was kissing well, I was completely taken aback. How could he not feel that this was not enjoyable at all?
I quickly sat back down next to him, and before I knew it, we had finished the first bottle of wine. The fact that he couldn't kiss didn't take away from the fact that he was still a very pleasant man to talk to. Again, I don't know how it happened (okay, it might have something to do with the second bottle of wine that was also almost empty), but I felt the urge to climb on top of him again. Unfortunately, he was ahead of me, and before I knew it, he had led me to his bedroom. In no time, we had undressed, and there was no turning back. I don't know what I expected from someone who kissed so poorly, but the fact that he was also so bad in bed was quite disappointing.
I was a bit drunk, so the details might be a bit hazy, but what I remember is that he was very much focused on himself and didn't really care about whether I was enjoying myself. How did I know that? At the moment I was about to reach my climax, he lost interest in finishing. When I asked why he stopped, he said the words ‘just finish it yourself’ while turning away. Oof, strike three.
The next morning, we had breakfast together (again: quite pleasant), but I immediately noticed that I was cured of my work crush. Not that I could easily forget him, though. I spent the whole day in an involuntary haze of his disgusting, old-man perfume that I still couldn't scrub off after two showers. Fortunately, that evening didn't change our relationship at work. Apparently, we are both very good at pretending this never happened, and as far as I'm concerned, let's keep it that way. One thing I know for sure: no more flirting with colleagues for me.
Would you like to share your Dating Disasters with us too? Nice! Send an email to info@amayzine.com and you might read your story here soon.
