Dating

Detached Dating is the toxic dating trend that almost everyone participates in

By Sophie Rietmulder | #!30Thu, 29 Jun 2023 15:15:53 +0200+02:005330#30Thu, 29 Jun 2023 15:15:53 +0200+02:00-3Europe\/Amsterdam3030Europe\/Amsterdam202330 29pm30pm-30Thu, 29 Jun 2023 15:15:53 +0200+02:003Europe\/Amsterdam3030Europe\/Amsterdam2023302023Thu, 29 Jun 2023 15:15:53 +0200153156pmThursday=9#!30Thu, 29 Jun 2023 15:15:53 +0200+02:00Europe\/Amsterdam6#06-29-2023#!30Thu, 29 Jun 2023 15:15:53 +0200+02:005330#\/30Thu, 29 Jun 2023 15:15:53 +0200+02:00-3Europe\/Amsterdam3030Europe\/Amsterdam202330#!30Thu, 29 Jun 2023 15:15:53 +0200+02:00Europe\/Amsterdam6#

Stop the presses: there is a new dating trend in the country that sets all alarm bells ringing and makes every red flag wave even harder. Detached Dating has entered the chat and I am here to tell you that you should stay just as far away from it as from your toxic ex.

‘Detached Dating’ literally translated means: distant dating and refers to dating without emotional investment. People who engage in this spend time with others without ever really making contact on a deeper level. I know what you’re thinking: every Koen, Bas, or Nathan on Tinder behaves like this during your umpteenth date, and that is absolutely true. In 2023, there have never been so many people consciously choosing superficial and non-committal relationships without any emotional involvement. This may be due to issues like fear of commitment or abandonment, the multitude of options, or just a plain case of ‘spread your chances’.

You might be surprised, but the biggest cause of Detached Dating lies in the fact that people have been hurt in the past and want to avoid this at all costs. By being emotionally unavailable, you cannot be hurt, and that feels safe. This behavior may seem innocent, but it is not. Of course, other people do not reach your heart and cannot hurt you, but ultimately you are doing quite a bit of damage to yourself. By putting your own protection above everything else, you are unable to create real connection and intimacy. That may be fine for a while, but it can become very lonely in the long run.

If you often put up a wall when people get too close and keep most relationships informal or even date multiple people at the same time, it is very likely that you are avoiding real connection and thus engaging in Detached Dating.

To break this pattern, it is important to turn inward and ask yourself where this fear of being hurt originated. Does it stem from a previous relationship or does it go deeper, perhaps even back to your childhood? By exploring this, you slowly discover that an intimate connection with another can also be a very nice, reliable, and safe place.

To be able to enter into such a connection, you first need to reconnect with yourself. How do you do that? By asking yourself the following questions: what is my biggest fear? What is the biggest disappointment I have ever felt? When did I last experience joy? Is there something I wish people would ask me more about? By practicing that connection with yourself, you gradually open your heart for a connection with another and have taken the first step towards a safe and emotionally involved relationship with someone else.

Source: Poosh