Do you often cancel appointments? Then you might be suffering from FOSY 

I wrote earlier about the phenomenon FOMO, also known as: Fear of Missing Out and about where it actually comes from. We all know this, of course, but did you also know that FOMO has a counterpart where you don't even think about participating in all those activities that other people have FOMO for? It's called FOSY and stands for: Fear of Saying Yes. Are you someone who often declines invitations or are you known for canceling plans at the last minute? Then you might be suffering from this.

Researchers indicate that people with FOSY often say ‘no’ to keep themselves safe. They are guided by previous negative social experiences and decide for themselves that it is smarter not to participate in certain activities anymore. This can be a significant pitfall, as giving in to your FOSY can prevent you from living your life to the fullest.

In addition to the fact that people with FOSY feel safer when they say ‘no’ in advance, psychologists who participated in this research indicate there are more reasons why people suffer from this:

• They have experienced rejection or failure in the past
• They are afraid of being judged negatively by others, for example if they fail, perform poorly, or do not execute a task well
• They feel that they have reached their capacity for what they can handle at that moment or feel overwhelmed
• They have a low self-esteem
• They are cautious because previous decisions have gone wrong

Sounds unpleasant, but fortunately, you can do something about it. The first step is to acknowledge that you find it difficult to say ‘yes’ and to be kind to yourself in that. Then it can help to practice saying ‘yes’, for example to a smaller activity that you feel less stressed about. Also try to think a little longer when you receive an invitation that you would prefer to decline immediately. Create space between the question and your answer by indicating that you will get back to it instead of saying ‘no’ right away. Then think about why you would want to do something and what you could gain from that experience. Do you still find it too exciting to say ‘yes’ immediately to proposed plans? Then try responding with ‘maybe’ and see where it takes you.

Source: Huffington Post