Love & Sex

#FML: ‘I contracted an STI from my affair and I dare not tell my husband’

By Amayzine | #!31Mon, 29 May 2023 14:00:34 +0200+02:003431#31Mon, 29 May 2023 14:00:34 +0200+02:00-2Europe/Amsterdam3131Europe/Amsterdam202331 29pm31pm-31Mon, 29 May 2023 14:00:34 +0200+02:002Europe/Amsterdam3131Europe/Amsterdam2023312023Mon, 29 May 2023 14:00:34 +0200002005pmMonday=9#!31Mon, 29 May 2023 14:00:34 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam5#05-29-2023#!31Mon, 29 May 2023 14:00:34 +0200+02:003431#/31Mon, 29 May 2023 14:00:34 +0200+02:00-2Europe/Amsterdam3131Europe/Amsterdam202331#!31Mon, 29 May 2023 14:00:34 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam5#

‘My #FML moment has everything to do with my relationship and a series of very stupid choices I made recently. Here’s the thing: Koen (my husband) and I have had a wonderful time together for years. However, something changed when the kids left home. We started going our separate ways more often, and Koen developed hobbies that I didn’t understand at all. Why he, at his age, suddenly felt the need to travel through Europe on a motorcycle completely passed me by. In hindsight, it might have been a case of ‘midlife’, but I didn’t realize it at the time.

No, I was far too busy with my work, and I’m mainly talking about the person I worked with. Where my husband repeatedly failed to give me the attention I longed for (and believe me, we’ve talked about it often enough), my colleague took on that task with all love. I had zero intention of cheating, really, but no one has ever become a worse person from enjoying a little extra attention, right?

For months, we circled around each other. We made sure to run into each other as much as possible at work and exchanged flirty messages. I’m not proud of it, but I finally felt a little wanted again, and I didn’t want to let that feeling go.

I still remember the moment it really went wrong. I already knew it was incredibly stupid to go to his house, but something in me didn’t want to lose the chemistry that had built up. In fact, I only wanted more. What happened next I probably don’t need to explain, but I’ll do it anyway: we ended up in bed together.

And it didn’t stop there. We increasingly met secretly and relived, as if we were in some kind of time loop, the same routine over and over. Our meetings made the evening fly by like a tightly organized marching band. Wine, kiss, more wine, sex, home, guilt. If it hadn’t been for that one phone call, we probably would have never stopped.

Recently, he called me with the news that he had something to tell me and that it wouldn’t be nice. I panicked because I thought he didn’t want to see me anymore, but the real news was much worse. He turned out to have an STD, which probably meant I was also in trouble. Fortunately, my husband remained out of danger since our sex life has dropped to below freezing point, but he is starting to wonder why I kept avoiding him when he tried to touch me. Didn’t I want more intimacy? I had said that myself.

I know this is all my own stupid fault, but I really don’t know what to do. This medical setback should be a wake-up call that should put an end to this nonsense once and for all, but I can’t seem to make a choice between my marriage and my affair. #FML is in this case an understatement, and the only one to blame here is myself.’

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