When your grandpa or grandma passes away

When you tell that one of your grandparents has passed away, you can expect the question: “How old was he/she?” I ask it myself sometimes. You show interest in someone's life, but at the same time, it seems like you are trying to legitimize death a bit. If someone has reached 89, it is ‘logical’ that someone leaves life at some point. Still, I always find this question a bit rude. As if you are not allowed to mourn because it is ‘normal’ that someone has passed away. And maybe it is, but it doesn't make the sadness any less. Losing a grandparent just hurts a lot, and that's why.

1. Your grandpa or grandma has been with you your whole life
2. It's a wise, experienced person that is leaving your life
3. It was someone who loved you unconditionally and found everything about you truly enjoyable
4. You see one of your parents in deep sorrow like you may have never seen before
5. You are confronted with your own mortality (because someday your father or mother will go, and someday you will too)
6. You have to reshape family rituals

So it's not strange at all that you feel great sadness. Mourning lasts for a year (in various forms), so let it be.

This helps with grief:

• Talk about it
• Walk, let your thoughts flow
• Breathe in and out very consciously a few times a day, it will help you ground yourself
• Take magnesium pills, they will make you a bit calmer
• Cherish the memories, don't hide the sadness, but talk about the deceased person
• Remember that having sadness also means you have been able to experience something very beautiful with someone