Science says: letting go of control makes you happier
If anyone is a mega control freak, it's me. I don't want to be like that, but I can't help it either. As it happens, I like to be at the helm when plans are made. Just to make sure everything goes as smoothly and efficiently as possible. I've tried it sometimes, though, this letting go of control, but often my girlfriends and I would end up in a situation where we were far from home without money or a car and no one had thought about how we would get home from a festival which, according to them, was indeed in the middle of nowhere, which was precisely the charm of the party. Hopeless. Yet new research has shown that always wanting to be in control of everything is not so good for you at all. In fact, letting go of control actually makes you happier.
First, let's talk about what long-term effect being a control freak has on you. Research shows that control freaks experience increased feelings of stress and anxiety. For these individuals, briefly losing control is enough to make their blood pressure rise. Control freaks also seem to be generally less satisfied people because they like to have control over things they cannot always control.
In addition, control freaks tend to be very critical. Since there is no way to control everything in life, worrying too much about how things are outside your control can lead to more criticism of everything that happens. If you can't control the results you like, it makes sense that you won't like them. Being critical can also make us more neurotic, creating an endless cycle where we become increasingly unhappy with our lives.
Indeed, none of it sounds very cosy. But can you do anything about it? It can be helpful to think more deeply about the situations you cannot control, in order to worry less about the various possible outcomes. Do your best to feel comfortable with each possible outcome while thinking about the situations. Know and accept that you have no control over it, that you are safe and that things will work out, no matter how things turn out.
You can do this in various ways, such as practising mindfulness where you try to be present in the moment and appreciate all the good things in your life. This allows you to regulate your emotions and reduces the stress that increases with the need for control. Keeping a journal can also help. Writing about your feelings has been proven to bring down your stress levels and it makes you think more deeply about the things you are struggling with. For people who need a lot of control, writing can help them dive deeper into possible outcomes of situations, while also giving them an outlet for feelings without magnifying them.
According to experts, there is much to be gained from letting go of control. For instance, people who try to exert less control over various things in their lives are said to experience more peace and relaxation and are better prepared for unexpected twists and turns in life because they are not blinded by one outcome in a situation. As a result, they always feel that they will be fine. These people also feel more connected to themselves and others, as the aforementioned criticism of different situations falls away. This allows you to connect with others on a deeper level by simply letting things and people around you be as they are. This in turn frees you up to appreciate and love people and situations extra. If that doesn't make you happy, I don't know what does.
Source: VeryWellMind
