Am I overstressed?

I am in the waiting room at my dentist. I have plugged my phone into the charger I brought myself while scrolling through my messages. As I check how long I've been here, I calculate how much time I need to get to my next appointment. What is my buffer? Another man walks in. Meanwhile, it seems like someone is turning the volume knob of what I later hear as zen radio. I don't know who came up with the name zen radio, but I find it misplaced. If it takes three more minutes, I will wait outside until it's my turn. When the dentist comes in, she is an acquaintance of mine, and when I ask her to please do something about the music, she says: ‘But what are you doing here actually? Your appointment is not for another hour.’ And then I know for sure: I am a bit overstressed.

Being overstressed can happen to any of us. While overwork is mainly related to excessive pressure at work, overstress indicates too much personal pressure. Your body and mind signal that they are overloaded. How do you know that something is wrong? In my case, these are the indicators:

• You feel fragile and weak
• You have (at least I do) trouble eating
• You cry easily, often, and a lot
• When the phone rings, you think it's bad news
• You want to keep the outside world out
• You don't want to read newspapers or watch the news, but live in your own bubble of Netflix: nothing-is-wrong series.
• You have trouble with contact and want to see no one or only your true intimates
• You dream restlessly
• You have a cleaning urge
• You forget appointments
• You really can't think clearly
• Things that normally come easily to you now take an enormous amount of effort
• You find it hard (see intro) to handle certain music
• Sounds are difficult anyway
• You really want to lean physically against someone you love

Okay, now you know how to recognize it. But what should you do?

1. Acknowledge it to yourself, you don't have to be ashamed of it
2. Go to the doctor, she/he can help you further with some calming medication or a referral to a psychologist
3. Tell your friends so they can take you into account and understand why you don't feel like certain things for a while
4. Buy a nice blanket
   Okay, this feels like telling someone with endometriosis: ‘Have you ever tried a little paracetamol?’, because it won't solve the problem, but buying something nice and soft for yourself helps a bit
5. Try not to lose yourself in chocolate, wine, and cigarettes. As delightful as it is if you love it, ultimately it will make the situation worse. Tea with honey is comforting too.
6. Leave rather active group chats and maybe indicate in your profile that you are responding a bit less quickly and often
7. Take your time and don't rush back into sixth gear. Recovering from overstress takes about eleven weeks.

And take care...