Psyche

This is how to deal with a narcissist

By Sophie Rietmulder | #!31Thu, 05 Oct 2023 15:30:51 +0200+02:005131#31Thu, 05 Oct 2023 15:30:51 +0200+02:00-3Europe/Amsterdam3131Europe/Amsterdam202331 05pm31pm-31Thu, 05 Oct 2023 15:30:51 +0200+02:003Europe/Amsterdam3131Europe/Amsterdam2023312023Thu, 05 Oct 2023 15:30:51 +02003033010pmThursday=9#!31Thu, 05 Oct 2023 15:30:51 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam10#10-05-2023#!31Thu, 05 Oct 2023 15:30:51 +0200+02:005131#/31Thu, 05 Oct 2023 15:30:51 +0200+02:00-3Europe/Amsterdam3131Europe/Amsterdam202331#!31Thu, 05 Oct 2023 15:30:51 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam10#

Did you know that about 0.5 to 5 percent of the population has a narcissistic personality disorder? The reason it is not entirely clear how high this percentage is has a good reason. Narcissists are generally arrogant, superficial, and have a hefty dose of grandiosity. A large part of these people will therefore never allow themselves to be examined, diagnosed, and treated. Why would you, if you are convinced that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you? Extra annoying, then, if you have a person in your life who exhibits narcissistic traits. Especially because every interaction with them can feel like a draining prayer without end. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, psychologist and expert in the field of narcissism, explains how to best deal with this so you can finally settle with the narcissist in your life.

The Gray Rock Method
The Gray Rock Method is a technique where you stop all emotional reactions. This breaks the cycle in which the narcissist manipulates you and you repeatedly react emotionally, something a narcissist loves. Stay flat and emotionless in your responses. If they try to provoke you, only give superficial answers. This way, they will eventually get bored and move on to someone who gives a desired response.

The Firewall Method
Acknowledge that the person is a narcissist and learn to recognize their manipulative techniques. Build a literal firewall around yourself by not sharing vulnerable information and only communicate with a clear goal in mind. Keep the firewall up at all times and be vigilant for manipulation techniques.

Set Boundaries
Set boundaries, but realize that they will rarely respect your boundaries. Therefore, you need to set boundaries that you actively defend. Make a list of situations where your boundaries were violated and where you allowed your boundaries to be crossed. Work on breaking these patterns and standing up for yourself. When a narcissist sees that you are not backing down, no matter what they try, the fun will quickly be over.

Do Something for Yourself
One thing narcissists are very good at is shutting you off from the outside world and binding themselves to you inseparably. Very suffocating, especially if you are in a situation where you actually want to disappear. A personal project can help you disconnect from the narcissist in question. Having goals and projects outside the relationship can boost your self-confidence and help you realize your ambitions. Choose something that is purely for you and make time to work on it.

No Contact
If the situation allows, cutting off all contact is a powerful strategy. Completely cut the narcissist out of your life. This can be difficult, but it is often the best way to free yourself from the destructive relationship. Hold on and do not be tempted to reach out again. Eventually, the narcissist will get bored and look for a new person to pour their attention on. Can't avoid contact? Then be as brief, dry, and businesslike as possible.

Source: Science of People