‘This is the secret to a good sex life when you've been together for years’

Last week I wrote about the results of the National Sex Survey, where many results were quite surprising. For example, regarding the frequency of sex: the majority of respondents do not have sex multiple times a week, but three to four times a month. That’s perfectly fine, of course, if you are content with that, but 22 percent also indicated that they are not satisfied with their sex life, which I found quite a lot. And as if it was meant to be, I came across the following topic on Reddit: ‘What’s the secret to a happy sex life with a long term partner?’ Of course, I have compiled the best tips for you.

1. ‘Communication, being open to trying new things, and commitment to each other. My partner and I only tried certain things after we had been together for twelve years. Keeping the relationship adventurous is very important.’

2. ‘It may sound strange, but the secret to a good sex life can also be that you are willing to do it a little less. There will be times when you or your partner are exhausted and/or not in the mood, especially after you may have had children. Being able to say ‘I’m tired and just really don’t feel like it right now’ ensures that you are both more rested, communicate well with each other, and when you do have sex, you really want to.’

3. ‘If you’ve lost the spark a bit, just start over again. Kiss each other again and cuddle a lot, as if you are just starting your relationship. My partner and I quickly realized how attractive we still find each other.’

4. ‘Make sure your partner feels loved and desired, even outside the bedroom. Help out with household chores and divide the different tasks.’

5. ‘When you have a family with your partner, you hardly have spontaneous sex anymore. It may not sound very romantic, but it works: put it on the calendar and stick to it.’