Love & Sex

‘This made me realize that my relationship was not right’

By Wieke Veenboer | #!31Sun, 02 Jul 2023 08:00:07 +0200+02:000731#31Sun, 02 Jul 2023 08:00:07 +0200+02:00-8Europe/Amsterdam3131Europe/Amsterdam202331 02am31am-31Sun, 02 Jul 2023 08:00:07 +0200+02:008Europe/Amsterdam3131Europe/Amsterdam2023312023Sun, 02 Jul 2023 08:00:07 +0200008007amSunday=9#!31Sun, 02 Jul 2023 08:00:07 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam7#07-02-2023#!31Sun, 02 Jul 2023 08:00:07 +0200+02:000731#/31Sun, 02 Jul 2023 08:00:07 +0200+02:00-8Europe/Amsterdam3131Europe/Amsterdam202331#!31Sun, 02 Jul 2023 08:00:07 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam7#

They say that half of all marriages end in divorce, at least when we look at the United States. It gets worse: if you marry for the second time, the chance that marriage ends in divorce is 67 percent... And if you try again after that, the chance is 73 percent. It’s not getting any better, that’s for sure.

But what is the moment to throw in the towel in a relationship? For some people, it’s a buildup of events, for others, it’s been a very clear moment. On Reddit, anonymous users share that specific moment when they thought: this is not the person for me.

1. ‘I realized that I was hiding good news from my partner because I knew she would make me feel bad about it. I hoped she would grow up and stop being so selfish and childish... That never happened.’

2. ‘When I realized that if we weren’t in a relationship, I wouldn’t even want to be friends with this person.’

3. ‘After nine years, I still had no idea how my partner felt about me. He didn’t propose to me, I did. He never shared his energy or emotions with me. Eventually, I realized that I only knew he thought I was pretty, but beyond that, I had no idea; did he think I was intelligent? Funny? I shared everything with him, but just got nothing back.’

4. ‘When she admitted that she found me ‘physically, mentally, or sexually unattractive’. But she didn’t say she wanted to break up; that’s when I knew it was up to me to leave.’

5. ‘I still don’t know if it was really a wrong choice: my wife is absolutely my soulmate and my best friend. Sexually, we just don’t match at all. But did I marry my best friend? Absolutely. Whether that’s a mistake, I haven’t figured that out yet.’

6. ‘After we had children, I realized that I was the only one of the two of us who actually felt like a parent.’