Love & Sex

You'd rather avoid this toxic relationship trend

By Bo Geschiere | #!30Sat, 10 Jun 2023 12:45:45 +0200+02:004530#30Sat, 10 Jun 2023 12:45:45 +0200+02:00-12Europe/Amsterdam3030Europe/Amsterdam202330 10pm30pm-30Sat, 10 Jun 2023 12:45:45 +0200+02:0012Europe/Amsterdam3030Europe/Amsterdam2023302023Sat, 10 Jun 2023 12:45:45 +02004512456pmSaturday=9#!30Sat, 10 Jun 2023 12:45:45 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam6#06-10-2023#!30Sat, 10 Jun 2023 12:45:45 +0200+02:004530#/30Sat, 10 Jun 2023 12:45:45 +0200+02:00-12Europe/Amsterdam3030Europe/Amsterdam202330#!30Sat, 10 Jun 2023 12:45:45 +0200+02:00Europe/Amsterdam6#

Man and woman on the couch with a relationship therapist

Yes, yet another new toxic term has been introduced to the world, and I bet we have all encountered it at some point in a relationship. No, I’m not talking about gaslighting or mansplaining, but its little sibling: men-imizing. I might even find this one worse.

The name says it all: ‘men’ and ‘minimizing’. In other words, men who make situations smaller than they actually are. The opposite of what women do, really. Of course, this doesn’t always have to be problematic; sometimes it’s nice when someone can put a stressful situation into perspective for you. But it can also easily be used against you, for example in relationships.

How do they do this? They first admit their own fault, but then immediately give a reason why they are not completely to blame. Indirectly, they are trying to make amends without fully acknowledging their own guilt. The goal is to make you doubt your own judgment. Here are a few classic examples of men-imizing that you’ve definitely heard before:

1. ‘Sorry that I cheated, but it really wasn’t a big deal.’
2. ‘I made a mistake, but you’re reacting really over the top.’
3. ‘We kissed, but the other person started it.’

But well, love is blind, and just like gaslighting, it’s very easy to fall for this. Yet deep down, you know that what he did is not okay, and it will continue to gnaw at you. The best thing you can do is walk away from the relationship, but I know that this is much easier said than done. If you still want to give your partner the benefit of the doubt, you will need to address his behavior again. Feel free to bring a whole list of examples. If he still can’t admit it, then you deserve better. End of discussion.

PS: This doesn’t mean that only men are guilty of this; women can do it too.

Source: glam.com