People say: ‘Do I regret that I never had children?’

To say that I didn't really know what I wanted in the past is an understatement of the century. I was sure of two things: my cat had to live forever and I would become a lawyer just like Ally McBeal. It won't come as a surprise that neither of those things happened. But while my friends could dream out loud about their wedding later and how many children they wanted, I remained silent. Especially about the latter, I had no dreams at all, and to be completely honest, my child brain thought that was normal, so I also dutifully said that I really wanted two children later.

In high school, and only really in one of the last years, I discovered that it is still normal, but that my friends who wanted to become mothers really wanted that. That was strangely very weird for me, because I felt zero desire for it and I honestly couldn't imagine that you could have that feeling so strongly. I understand that a lot more now, but not because my own desire has come; I am 33 and so far I have no idea that even one fiber in me wants children. And that's okay too, although people often don't understand it. ‘Aren't you going to regret that?’ or ‘Just wait’ are the reactions I often get.

That's why the question ‘People over 50 that chose to be childfree, do you regret your decision? Why or why not?’ on Reddit immediately caught my attention and I have listed the most striking or most liked answers for you.

1. ‘I always explain it like this: do you know that feeling where you can't wait to teach your child how to play baseball, or whatever it is you want to share with them? I don't have that. It's actually a lack of parental instinct. Having children was never something I aspired to.’

2. ‘At first, I thought I was broken in my head and then I thought I just had to convince myself, or just have a child and that it would come naturally. But I am now in my mid-thirties and have zero desire for a child. People often ask me: ‘Why not?’ I have a hundred reasons why not, but the most important one is: because I don't want to. Why would I force myself to do something that feels so unnatural?’

3. ‘My wife works in a nursing home for the elderly. Just imagine: about 95 percent of all those elderly people never get visits from their family. That's when I realized that the whole ‘who will take care of you when you're older’ excuse is bullshit, and when we decided not to have children.’

4. ‘I don't regret not having children, but I do regret that I was never in a relationship where I felt it could happen. And I regret that I wasn't stronger to leave such a relationship earlier. If I had been, it might have been a more conscious choice.’

5. ‘It wasn't a choice for us, but yes, I regret it. I am happily married and I worry a lot about what will happen to my wife when I pass away. Then she will be alone. That aside, it's fantastic.’

6. ‘Nope. I have never had the desire to change diapers or get little sleep, have hardly any free time, and lose a lot of my money. Other people's children are great, especially because they belong to someone else.’