7 subtle signals that your relationship or friendship is extremely toxic

You give more than you get and you have felt that way for a while. That is basically the foundation of a toxic relationship that you can have with a partner or a friend. It doesn't feel equal and it isn't. What are some more subtle signs that can help you recognize a toxic relationship?

Then you also know when it's better to get away.

– One of the clearest signs of a negative relationship is that the other person constantly brings negative energy, criticism, or pessimism into the relationship. It's never good, and certainly not good enough for him or her. There is always a cloud lurking over the sun. What you say doesn't matter much. Toxic people always complain and rarely find anything positive.

– They make you feel bad about yourself or your achievements. And that is frustrating for your self-confidence. You feel drained after interactions with them; instead of recharging after being together, you feel tired.

– The relationship or friendship feels out of balance, where one person always puts in more effort than the other. That makes you somewhat sad. You are always the one who reaches out, makes plans, or tries to solve problems. They show little initiative or interest in spending time with you. You often feel ignored or undervalued.

– They can be manipulative. They try to influence your choices or make decisions for you, while you may not fully agree with this. You notice that you do things you normally wouldn't do, out of fear of their reaction. The other person sees you as a competitor rather than a partner or friend.

– And when you're having a hard time? Then they are nowhere to be found. They are those friends who are there when everything is going well for you and you are at a cool party together. They are absent in tough times or make excuses not to help when you're struggling. They think you shouldn't be so dramatic, and as a result, you often feel alone in the relationship or friendship.

– A clearer signal is being jealous in the relationship or friendship. The other person shows unhealthy signs of jealousy and tries to isolate you from others. You are a possession and you shouldn't come up with things for yourself. That is very unhealthy. They don't want you to spend much time outside of being with them.

– They are very unpredictable, so when you make plans, you don't know what to expect. Their mood and behavior change quickly without clear reason. They are

sometimes extremely nice and supportive and then cold and distant. A bit bipolar, you could say.

Anyway: can you check off many of these signs with a certain friend or maybe even with your partner? Then think carefully about whether you want to continue with it. Communicate your boundaries clearly and let the other person know what you do and do not accept. And remember: you always have a choice. Leaving and saying ‘no’ is also an option.