At what point does cheating become a serious affair?

Cheating: it happens everywhere, in every country, in every relationship. Almost everyone experiences it at least once in their life: they cheat themselves or their partner cheats on them. But when is cheating just cheating, and when does it become a serious affair? When is there more going on than just making a mistake once?

Well, that's very simple to explain.

What one couple sees as cheating may not be a problem for another couple. However, there are certain things that are generally considered forms of cheating that can pose a serious threat to a relationship, as it resembles living a double life:

• Physical infidelity: sex with someone else. And not just once by accident when very drunk, but more often. With the same person. That is the absolute hallmark of an affair: so having sex twice with the same other person than your partner is an affair.
• And emotional infidelity is also part of it. This can include developing strong emotional bonds, falling in love with someone other than the partner, sharing deep feelings and thoughts, or seeking emotional support outside the relationship. Once this happens, it is no longer just ‘ordinary’ cheating, but a love affair.
• Digital infidelity: This includes activities such as flirting online, having intimate conversations via social media or dating apps, sending sexually suggestive messages or photos to others, or having online sex.

So: cheating means you do it once and leave it at that. An affair is seeking love elsewhere, wanting attention from another, and having sex more often with that other person. Shame, neither is justifiable, never. Not even a simple kiss with someone else. But what is worse for the person being cheated on? Then it is that affair. You are not only physically betrayed but often emotionally as well. And that really hurts.

Image: ‘Emily in Paris’