Canceling without guilt: here's how to do it
In general, I don't have much trouble being clear with others, but recently I found myself in a situation where I had to make a difficult choice. I had committed to two different things that both seemed really fun to me, only I found out later that they would take place at the same time. Because I had reacted so enthusiastically to both, I felt that I was going to disappoint one of the two no matter what if I told them it couldn't go ahead. I ended up postponing it for quite a while, simply because I dreaded that feeling. But guess what? As soon as I called and heard how my cancellation was received, my guilt disappeared immediately. It was actually a shame that I had postponed it for half the day, because I could have just had a relaxing day if I had handled this right away.
I really hate canceling, while it can be quite nice when someone else cancels on me. A few tips if you find it as difficult as I do to cancel something:
Be honest about the reason you want to cancel instead of making up excuses. Are you tired? Just say that you are tired. Did you get another job offer? Just explain that. You're only digging yourself into a hole if you start beating around the bush by making things up.
Don't postpone it for too long. It's better for both parties to rip off the band-aid quickly. Otherwise, you'll be stuck with it all day, but it's also nicer for the other person, because they can then make other plans, for example. Especially with medical appointments, it's important to cancel on time, because usually you just have to pay if you do it too late.
Enjoy the fact that you canceled afterwards. You didn't do it for nothing. So if you have a free evening because of it, make sure you can relax without guilt. When it comes to work-related matters, you should also try to celebrate that you chose the other option instead of dwelling on the feeling that you disappointed one party. Be glad that you took the step to cancel, because if you keep worrying about it or feeling guilty, then in the end, it doesn't do you much good.
