This is the reason women most often go to a sexologist

A beautiful fact in the life we lead in a safe country like the Netherlands is that there is always help available. You can always ask someone for advice. It is up to you to actually do that when things are not going well. Like in bed, for example. What if you are not happy between the sheets? What if sex has become a hurdle? Then you go to a sexologist.

Yes, a therapist with expertise in love, intimacy, and sex. And there is nothing to be ashamed of.

The reason most women go? It is very clear: they have little or no sex and do not know how to change that. They are ashamed of their low libido. They no longer find their partner attractive in that way, but they also do not want to leave him, because yes, they love him. They do. But that lustful, passionate, hot, steamy sex? That is missing. And that gnaws at them. And then you can ask for help.

What kind of advice does a sexologist give then? A sexologist offers guidance and practical exercises to solve problems and help women build a healthier relationship with their sexuality. It just goes step by step. First, map out the problem, accept it, articulate it – and then come the small exercises. Try this in bed. Masturbate more often so you know what you like. Discover if you can talk about it with your partner and if so, how. And solve it together slowly. Don’t just jump into bed and boom, penetration. No. That doesn’t work. Think in solutions, like much longer foreplay, much more teasing throughout the day with each other, so you can get each other a bit worked up. Send naughty texts. A little bare breast here, a little teasing there. Tease each other so that fun comes back into the game. And then that sexual party will eventually come back all by itself.

It is quite complicated in long relationships to keep that juice in it. That juicy game is simply over after many years. Then sex is just a thing. But the art is to keep it exciting anyway. Experiment sometimes. Not always. You can also just choose the positions that work for you. But make sure you don’t lose sight of each other in this area. Because sex in a relationship is what gives you the deepest connection, which you don’t have with anyone else. And that is your foundation. And there is always help available, right.