How someone eats is the number 1 partner irritation

I love my mother with all my heart, but when she eats, there must be some music on. Thank goodness my girlfriend D feels the same. She has the nicest mother on earth, except during meals. The number 1 partner irritation is the way the other eats. Smacking, chewing, and other eating sounds from your loved ones are apparently hard for people to tolerate. If you love the smacking sounds of your child eating a banana, when your partner does it, you prefer earplugs in. I even know someone who wears noise-cancelling headphones while eating because she can't stand the sounds of her eating family.

Psychologist Anne de Jong calls it ‘sticking stamps’. You often brush off an annoyance and stick a stamp in your head. At a certain point, the book is full and your annoyance explodes. Very unpleasant for the other (because they are of course aware of the bad), because suddenly you go off the rails because someone is eating in a certain wayin the chip bag.k graait.

The reason you probably get so annoyed with the other is that your cultural backgrounds come together at the table. Your partner might find the pot on the table very cozy, while for you it is the height of rudeness. Smacking and slurping are perfectly fine in some cultures, while you experience it as rude.

What do you do about it? That's the big question. First of all, I would say: name it. Tell your partner what you don't find so pleasant so that your ‘stamp book’ doesn't get full. Also explain why you think something, then the other can take that into account. Furthermore, you can try to make a joke out of it. Don't make it too heavy and don't take yourself too seriously. Say: “Maybe you think I'm a total whiner, but I enjoy eating with you so much that I would also like the table to be nicely set. Your pot on the table doesn't quite fit the picture.” Maybe you can come to a compromise where you put the rest of the food in a nice dish on the table so you can still pick something from the dish. Lastly: put on some music. It enhances the atmosphere and muffles background noises.

Someone sends you an email that makes your stomach turn. There are seven people in CC and the long story boils down to someone wanting to dump all the misery in your garden...