Self-sabotage: these good habits are actually super bad for you
Do you ever feel like you are sabotaging yourself? That you are (unconsciously) holding yourself back with certain habits you have learned, preventing you from getting the most out of yourself? This is called self-sabotage. It can be in the smallest things, causing you to sometimes ensure that you your own goals cannot achieve or that you do not derive satisfaction from what you have achieved. It is therefore important to discover the pattern within yourself in order to change it. But how do you recognize self-sabotage?
These negative habits are easy to recognize
Procrastination
Everything you need to do, you postpone until the moment you have to rush to get started. This ensures that you feel a constant low level of stress, because there is always something in the back of your mind: you still have to do it, but you have less and less time for it. In the end, you get the job done, but it probably could have been done better, which didn’t happen due to the lack of time.
Negative thoughts about yourself
We talk about affirmations so much these days for a reason. Your thoughts and statements have a huge impact on how you go through life. If you tell yourself every day ‘I can't do it’, then the chance is 100% that you indeed won't succeed.
Not trying new things
Taking risks is scary. But it is also precisely something from which the most fantastic things arise. If you feel stuck in your current job (whether it’s about career growth or salary-wise), then it’s a shame if you don’t dare to look for something new. Take the risk, you can gain so much in return.
Not daring to say ‘no’
You are not unkind if you say ‘no’ to someone once in a while. Always being helpful to others means you have less time left for things that are important to you. Of course, it’s good to be there for others, but always keep an eye on your own plans and goals. Making a good plan can help with that, so you can immediately see how much time you really have left for other things.
Self-destructive coping mechanisms
We all know it: treating yourself to an extra glass of wine after a long, hard day, or comfort food that you know you shouldn’t eat every day because it’s not super healthy. But also treating yourself to ‘lying on the couch and ordering food’ instead of cooking, and doing that four days a week. These are coping mechanisms: you deal with difficult situations in a certain way, and in this case, they are ultimately all unhealthy for yourself.
‘All or nothing’
Maybe you have experienced that you intended to start a strict diet, then eat a cookie anyway and think: ‘okay, this day is already ruined so now I’m going to enjoy it’ and then eat the whole pack (and more). ‘All or nothing’ thinking is not healthy. You can also do this in relationships or at work. If you ruin a little bit of the day or a project, you then choose to let the whole day pass by, feeling worthless because you were so unproductive that day.
And you probably think that these habits are actually good for you
Perfectionism
Just as you need to be realistic when making your vision board, you should also remain so on a smaller scale. If you demand that everything must be perfect, nothing will ever be good enough. Will you ever be truly satisfied with what you have done? It can also lead to you ultimately doing nothing because you assume that everything is just not good enough.
Overworking
Occasionally putting in some extra effort at work is logical; everyone has busier and less busy periods. But regularly overworking is not something to be proud of. Not only does something go wrong in your planning or your goals, but you also physically exhaust yourself. If you then also fail to achieve your goals within the set time, that combination can lead to burnout, and then you are really far from home.
Modesty
When someone gives you a compliment, you should be able to accept it. Even if you may not agree because you don’t see what you have done well, you must accept that others see something good in you. This is the beginning of changing your own thought process. If you really listen to compliments and say ‘thank you’, it is the first step towards being able to express affirmations to yourself.
Not asking for help
You should not think that you have to do everything alone. It is actually super strong if you indicate in time that you could use some support with what you are doing. If you don’t do that, it shows that you have an unrealistic view of achieving goals; it can even come across as egocentric and ultimately lead to procrastination because you can’t move forward on your own, making you dread it.
If you recognize even a few things from this list in yourself, there is work to be done. You will feel so much better if you approach life in a positive and productive way! Give yourself that change. Maybe it helps you to discover new therapies, such as sound healing or meditation, which make you more focused on yourself and your thoughts. Or maybe you realize now that it’s time to talk to someone. A psychologist can provide you with the right tools if you really notice that you can’t figure it out on your own. Ready to live life to the fullest!
Source: AFA Education
Image: Tell Me Lies, Disney+
