This cheese suits you best according to your zodiac sign
The zodiac is actually an overflowing cheese board, did you know that? Whether you love extra aged crumbly cheese, a delicious French stinky cheese, or creamy brie from the mat, your cheese preference is determined by your zodiac sign. Cheese knife ready? Let’s go for the stars!
Capricorn
December 22 – January 19
Young mature Dutch cheese. Really? Yes, it doesn’t get more surprising than with Capricorn. Goats are serious, frugal, and averse to urban antics. Cream cheese tea? Burrata in your dessert? Come on! Of course, they usually bring their own sandwiches, nicely topped with Dutch cheese. Frivolity: a slice of cucumber on top, or a radish. Go ahead.
Aquarius
January 20 – February 19
Mom used to put those cute Babybel cheeses in the lunchbox of Aquarius, on vacation they always ate La Vache Qui Rit, and if Aquarius is honest, he still prefers these kids' cheeses and other spreadable cheeses. Everyone laughs about it, but Aquarius just finds it tasty! Spreadable cheese on white bread, Aquarius doesn’t want to go further with cheese experiments.
Fish
February 20 – March 20
No Pisces, toe cheese is not a Frisian specialty. It should be clear: Pisces are not afraid of cheese that has a bit of a smell. They are pronounced lovers of époisses, a gigantic stinky cheese from the French Burgundy. An aromatic red mold that owes its characteristic smell in part to the Marc de Bourgogne with which the rind is washed.
Aries
March 21 – April 20
Probably no zodiac sign enjoys a generous cheese board as much as Aries. Relaxing and chatting after the meal, of course with a nice glass of eau de vie, that’s typical Aries. The whole cheese board is empty in no time, even if there have already been seven courses before, but if he has to point out a favorite: a robust Spanish manchego, which goes down with rind and all.
Taurus
April 21 – May 20
Have you ever tasted burrata? No, not yet? Wait, Taurus is already getting it out of the fridge for you. Just wait, because at room temperature you can taste it much better. With beautiful tomatoes, no, not from the vegetable garden but from the vegetable jeweler, flown in directly from sunny Sicily, and a few drops of five-year-old balsamic vinegar. Clearly: Taurus is the foodie of the zodiac and the creamier, fattier, and more luscious the cheese, the better. And grated cheese from a bag? Never!
Gemini
May 21 – June 20
Gemini can endlessly rattle off trivia about the most trivial matters. Like the fact that the reed warbler rarely hides in the reeds and never sings, that the refrigerator door in most households opens more often than the bathroom door, and that it is legally prohibited to sell your dentures in Las Vegas. Just when you see Gemini eyeing a piece of French morbier in the display case. Did you know that the ash layer in the cheese covers the morning milk before the curd from the evening milk goes on top? And have you ever tried Turkish kaymak? Sigh.
Lobster
June 21 – July 22
Boss of the snacks. Whether it’s traditional cubes of Gouda with a piece of stem ginger on top or a skewer with mini mozzarella, tomato, and basil, Cancer immediately makes a large amount so everyone can enjoy a drink together. Whether it’s all that surprising culinary, you might wonder, but it is cozy. The more cheese, the better. Anyone for cheese soufflés or cheese sticks? The fryer is already on.
Leo
July 23 – August 22
Leo always thinks about the line and then cheese is totally off limits, calorie-wise. During the day, she dutifully spreads cottage cheese on a spelt cracker, a bit of chives on top and a bit of pepper to fluff it up, super healthy. She even experiments with cashew cheese, because that seems to be environmentally friendly too. At night, she stands in front of the open fridge devouring the tastiest Dutch cheeses and chunks of brie or grilling a fatty cheeseburger. With extra cheese. Not going so well with that diet, huh, Leo?
Virgo
August 23 – September 22
Virgo first asks: what are we drinking with it? The combination of cheese and wine is a delicate matter in the eyes of Virgo. Port with a nice piece of crumbly aged cheese, fresh Sauvignon with chèvre, a last sip of red with a piece of Gruyère. Bite by bite, sip by sip, Virgo quietly enjoys immensely. And of course, this perfectionist knows how to store cheese best.
Libra
September 23 – October 22
Strangely enough, Libra doesn’t really like cheese. It may have to do with the lactose intolerance he suspects in his rumbling intestines, it may have to do with his picky table manners (is that red onion? Yuck!), it’s hard to say. Cheese on a toast? Meh. Cheese on a pizza or a hamburger? Alright then. But Libra doesn’t really want to see more cheese.
Scorpio
October 23 – November 22
Even at temperatures of thirty degrees in the shade, Scorpio is cutting baguette, chopping garlic, and grating cheese, because cheese fondue is absolutely Scorpio's all-time favorite meal. Not a ready-made bag from the supermarket, but cheese fondue made from freshly grated Gruyère and Emmental, a good splash of white wine, and a dash of kirsch, or better: tequila. Secret: even alone, he sometimes fondue cheeses, because Scorpio is just at his best with a fondue fork in hand.
Sagittarius
November 23 – December 21
Cheese is only cheese for Sagittarius if there’s a thick layer of blue mold on it. Of course not the blue fluff of forgotten sandwiches, but a well-veined gorgonzola, spicy Roquefort, or a piece of Stilton, you can wake Sagittarius up for that at night. A bit of fig bread and a glass of port on the side and the Archer is in cheese heaven.
Any similarities with real people from my circle of friends are purely coincidental.
