According to research, this is the main reason a friendship fades
Your life changes and your best friends change along with you. But not all of them. Sometimes it is very unfortunate and painful, but you lose that oh so best friend out of sight. The contact becomes a little less each week, it creeps in. You don't do it on purpose, there is no argument. But still, that friendship fades. How can that be?
There are various reasons why this can happen, but research shows that there is one cause at the top of the list: the lack of time and priorities that lie elsewhere. Because secretly, it is also true: we can always find time somewhere if we really want to.
As we get older, the responsibilities in our lives increase. Career, family, and personal obligations can take up so much time and energy that there is little left for those once carefree friendships. Once you lived day in and day out with your friends: in the city, in the club, on vacation. But when that phase is over, everything is different. You have more to do. Logical, but also unfortunate. This makes it increasingly difficult to make time for friends, which can ultimately lead to a decrease in the frequency of contact and joint activities.
A study conducted by psychologists at the University of Kansas underscores this problem. They found that forming and maintaining strong friendships often comes under pressure from the busyness of daily life. When people feel overwhelmed by their responsibilities, the first impulse is often to reduce social interactions, even if this happens unconsciously. Especially when you have children, this is the case. The result is that friends contact each other less often, spend less time together, and that the friendship slowly but surely fades. Additionally, the lack of time is often related to shifting priorities. While some friendships may have been a top priority for years, this can change due to new life phases such as getting married, having children, or a demanding career. Friendships that are not actively maintained can fade into the background, while other relationships or responsibilities take precedence. You simply see others more suddenly. Those mothers at the schoolyard, or your neighbors, or your friend who lives just around the corner. Nothing can be done about it.
Without seeing each other often, the emotional bond that friends often share disappears. The tricky part is: with some people in your life, you can have little contact just fine. Everything is always good when you see each other again. But that does not apply to all friendships, unfortunately. And there is indeed something that can be done, researchers say. By consciously making time for our friendships and prioritizing them, we can increase the chance that our relationships withstand the test of time. Ultimately, it is the friendships that we cherish and maintain that enrich our lives and help us through the ups and downs of life. Make some time.
